C is asleep. T is at school. I just ate a chocolate chip cookie and it was amazing.
This is the eleventh week of my maternity leave. It has been so wonderful, but it has also gone so incredibly fast. I don't remember it going this quickly with T. This leave has also been easier than my first one. When I had T, everything was new. It was a complete life change... in a good way... but a complete change to everything that my husband and I thought was normal. There were no more spontaneous movie theater dates, no more sleeping in, no more getting extra rest when you're sick, etc. It was tough. I think I was ready for that change when T was born, but I'm not sure I embraced it very well. I happily blame hormones for part of it. I think the post-baby hormones really do have an affect on your emotions and your mood. Lack of sleep doesn't help matters. This time around, I'm 3 years older and have a little bit of experience, not to mention perspective. I survived the newborn phase with T, I survived going back to work and I survived all the phases since then (walking, talking, self-feeding, potty training (success), sleep training (fail), temper tantrums, etc.). There's a lot to be said for being through something and surviving so when you go through it again, you know you'll be okay. Since C's birth, I was annoyed by the physical recovery, but I knew it would eventually be better. I know the sleepless nights are few and far between. I know the little cold she's suffering from that's keeping her up at night won't last forever. Transitioning to two kids from one has been easier than I expected, but that's not to say I'm not tired or living off of coffee and Coke to keep up with the two kids.
I don't want this baby phase to end. It's going so fast. Maybe its going so fast because I'm not run down by first time mom anxiety. C is such an amazing baby. She is beautiful and full of smiles. She coos and squeeks. I tickled her armpit today and she almost laughed. I saw it in her face. She calms down when I hold her and nuzzles her face into my body to fall asleep. She's only 10.5 weeks old and I feel like I know her so well. It's weird to know someone so well who doesn't talk, walk, roll over or eat anything besides milk. But when she looks into my eyes and smiles, I am just so thankful that I am blessed with the responsibility of being her mommy. Every night when I put her to sleep, I thank God for giving her to us. I pray for protection while she sleeps and for patience when I'm up with her during the night. A friend of mine, whose baby started sleeping through the night recently, told me she misses those night time feedings now that they're over. I'm trying to remember that this precious time with my baby C won't last forever and despite how exhausted I am, I really should enjoy every minute. Before I know it, she'll be 3 and won't want me to hold her like a baby and rock her.
My charming little boy won't let me hold him like a baby, but instead wants me to shoot hoops (you should see his hook shot), play tractors and hunt for ghosts (and then eat them, of course) with him. He asks me to build forts and cries his big blue eyes out when I tell him its time for bed. T is full of joy. He always has been. He lights up any room that he walks into because he has a great smile and the cutest dimple. His eyes smile, too. T has a colorful imagination and at least one night a week, you can find him between my husband and me in bed telling us stories about adventures at "the orange store" aka The Home Depot. He's a spirited boy with high highs and low lows. He feels deeply. It's really hard for him to not get his way, but he's learning slowly. I want to eat candy and popsicles for breakfast too, but the line gets drawn sometimes. T regularly thanks God for tractors and boat rides. One time when he was done praying for his dinner, he said "the end." And another time, he thanked God for "the sunshine out there" and for "the snow that dropped." His sense of direction and memory are incredible. He might be addicted to the iPad, but he can navigate the home screen better than his grandparents, which is kind of like how I had to show my grandparents how to use the VCR when I was a kid.
I think having this second child and being through all of this before helps me see the joy that these children are to me earlier on. I'm less dragged down by the hard newborn phase because I know I'll make it through. So blessed. That's all my mind is thinking. So amazingly blessed.
I meant to write about yoga and when I opened this blank post on the computer, all I could think about was how much I love my babies. They are my world. I live in a great world. You'll have to wait until next time to read about yoga.
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