Post Race Review: TC10K

The TC10K was already over a month ago. Life has been so busy since then. I took a week off from work to simply hang out with my son and pretend I'm a stay-at-home mom for a week. We had a blast together. I also enjoyed having laundry done before 9 PM! Then we took a trip to Lutsen on the North Shore of Minnesota with my family. I suspect a new tradition has started. Then, my baby boy turned two last weekend! I started planning his party weeks (okay, it might have been months) ago. I love keeping lists and I used Pinterest for birthday party ideas. After his birthday bash, it was Halloween! He was the cutest monkey on the block. So now, I am finally getting around to posting about the TC10K.

I had the thought to sign up for the TC10K earlier in the summer after my half-marathon was over. I figured a 10K was a good distance to run. It wouldn't be awful like my last half-marathon went, but it was more than a 5K. Until now, I've never truly cared about my times in races. I figure just finishing the race is a good enough goal (and it is!). But I wanted to push myself a little bit for this race. I emailed two friends and asked if they wanted to sign up for the race, too. They agreed! Let the training begin!

A minute before the start: Me, Katie and Kelsey

My two friends, Katie and Kelsey, who ran with me are long-time friends. We've known each other since middle school. Though we lost touch in college for a period of time, we've reconnected and seen each other through our weddings and now each of our first babies. We even play soccer together in the summer! All three of us are busy moms who also work full-time. We depend on each other knowing that each of us understands what the other one is going through on a day-to-day basis. Whether its running, parenting, marriage or work, we can lean on each other.

The morning of the race was a chilly 35 degrees. I wore sweats to the start line and handed them over to my husband just before we lined up. I wore my trusty Nike Tempo shorts (as always) and my half-marathon finisher's shirt. I. Was. Freezing!

Mile 1: Running up hill next to the St. Paul Cathedral.

I ran with my phone and took photos as I went. The church was so beautiful with the sunrise shining on it. The race went so well. The girls and I started out together. At the beginning, we had decided that we'd each run our own pace. I knew we'd see each other through the finish line no matter what. After about a mile, I started to warm up. I felt amazing. My legs were light and I found a great groove. 

Mile 5.85 or so :) Looped back past the Cathedral and ran down hill to the finish line.

I finished the race in 1:03, which I was so happy about. I never claimed to be a fast runner and don't feel the need to be one. But I was proud to run about a 10 minute mile and felt fantastic enough to sprint the last 50 yards through the finish line.

My family came to cheer us on!

Friends and our babies

My biggest fans!

Thumbs up! That was an awesome run!

See me? Just behind the lady in pink. I was trying to beat her, but got caught up waving at the cameras :) 

The TC10K was a great run! If you've never run it, definitely sign up next year! The weather was perfect, although a little chilly to start. I ran it with some amazing friends. They each had spectacular runs themselves and I was so proud to be there with them. The fall scenery along Summit Ave in St. Paul is like none other and I can't wait to run this race next year!

Maybe I'll take my chances and enter the 10 mile lottery...

Life's been busy

I had a killer run last night. A killer workout in general. I loved it. It happened in the gym, not outside. It's too dark by the time I get home from work and have a chance to get outdoors. I sweat like a mad woman at the gym. No wind and the A/C does not blast enough to keep me cool. I was a sweaty mess, but I loved it. Proof of a good, tough workout.

I'll post about the Twin Cities 10K soon! Life has been busy these last couple weeks. One of those weeks included an amazing week OFF from work. I spent it all with my baby boy! We had the best week EVER!

More to come...

Sidenote: I'm addicted to Pinterest. Anyone else? I found these two quotes on there the other day that I just love. I felt inspired.

1. Running, cheaper than therapy

2. Reality Check #18: Stop wishing. Start working for what you want. Go workout. Skip the junk food.

TR 5K

Yesterday was the most windy day ever! Ever!! I can see out the window from my second floor cubicle at work, so I can see the very tops of the trees outside. They were thrashing back and forth all day. The sun was hidden behind dark gray clouds. In just a few hours, my two co-workers and I had to go out there and run a 5K. I was excited to run, but not excited about the weather.

The three of us changed into our shorts in a second floor bathroom. We walked as fast as we could out to the start line because you stick out like a sore thumb dressed in running clothes at work. When we got outside, we were blasted by the wind. My hat almost flew off. We had goosebumps instantly. Specks of dirt hit us in the legs. One of us decided to wear a fancy running skirt and she was starting to regret it. These were not exactly ideal running conditions.



N, L and myself

 The run started and it was fun. The sun came out, too! L ran fast and beat N and I by a few minutes. We were jealous of her, but N and I were content to run our pace at the same time. We discussed work, our weekends, our running routines and I snapped a few pictures of the path all while dodging the fuzzy caterpillars all over the running path. To finish the 5K, we had to do three loops of one path and one loop of a smaller path that falls inside that bigger loop. Don't worry... we didn't get dizzy. Half of each loop was against the wind and the other half was with it (obviously). You can guess which half of the loop we liked better.

On our third lap around the big loop, N and I walked for a minute or two to just allow ourselves to catch our breathe. Part of me wanted to just quit all together. My legs felt heavy, my lungs burned, my eyes were watering from the wind. N was a great encourager though. This run really made me feel like a loser, but N kept us going. I hate having great runs like I had with my husband a few days ago, which was 4 miles and faster, and then having a run like this 3 miler that went so horribly bad. I guess you have your good days and bad days. And after all, this run was for a good cause (all the money donated by the runners/walkers was given to a charity). I'm glad I decided to finish because when N and I got to the finish line, L was there cheering us on and took a photo of us crossing the line. We gave her two big thumbs up and she kindly posted it to Facebook immediately.

The 10K is tomorrow and I'm still very much looking forward to it. It just better not be windy!

Week of the Races

The 10K is now just days away. I'm really, really looking forward to it. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous. Fall in Minnesota is just perfect. My husband disagrees with me, but we will just move on from this (fall = waterskiing season draws to a close).

Not only am I really looking forward to the race on Saturday, but last minute, two co-workers and I signed up for a 5K that our employer is putting on tomorrow! Our company is set out on a huge area of land and we have our own walking/running paths around the entire campus. I utilized these paths when I was pregnant and overdue hoping the walks would put me into labor (did not work). The 5K will take place on those paths, so it should be a lot of fun. The three of us turned in our registration paper yesterday. And then the lady told us they'd be videotaping the run. Videotaping. I think it is only fair to tell us this up front and not after I have signed my name on the paper. I will be wearing a hat (as always) to disguise myself.

My husband and I took our boy out for a run after work yesterday. My goal was 4 miles. The boys did all 4 miles with me despite our boy's begging to turn back and look at the bullsosers. He just never gets enough of them apparently.

The run was fantastic, but it started out a little rough. The air was unusually heavy for this time of year from the rain we had in the morning. It wasn't crisp like fall is supposed to be. It wasn't hot, but it wasn't cold, and it was a little bit foggy, but sunny at the same time. The first 1.5 miles my legs felt like heavy weights. They just didn't want to move. The large hill we ran up probably didn't help things, but I tried to remind myself that running those hills helps in the long run.

There were a few times I wanted to stop and I told my husband that it was really hard to keep up with his pace. We ran his pace - fast - the entire 4 miles. As much as I hated running that pace, I loved it. We turned onto the final stretch, which was about half a mile. He said to me, "I want you to stay with me the rest of the way." I had been lagging behind him a bit. Inside I was so mad at him for pushing me when he knew I was already spent at keeping his pace, but on the other hand, I was really glad he was along. I probably would have started walking had I been alone.

I kept up with his pace for about a minute and he complimented me. Then, out of nowhere, he said, "I want you to stay ahead of me until we get back... just a few minutes... stay ahead of me." I was over being mad at him for pushing me since I was clearly doing okay keeping his pace. Now I was just in it to prove to him and myself that I can kill the rest of this run. I sped up and ran in front of him and the jogging stroller. He was speeding up behind me. I sped up to stay ahead. We passed a few of our neighbors out for a leisurely jog and I could barely get a "hello" out as they passed by. My shirt was drenched. I ran the last few steps even faster so I could for sure beat my husband onto our street from the sidewalk. I'm pretty sure I said, "YES! I win!" as if I had just won a race. I'm not sure either of us knew until that moment it was a race :)

I feel great today! My hips and legs feel as though I pushed it a bit harder last night. I feel proud that I kept up with my husband's speed the entire time and even passed him up at the end. I'm happy to have him challenging me to push it once in a while. It's hard to do that on my own. I feel ready for tomorrow's 5K and the 10K on Saturday. It's going to be a great rest of the week!

Five

I meant to get out over the weekend for a long run, but a few too many fun things got in the way. That makes me sound like I have zero dedication to my running, but I made sure to get out on Monday evening. I was planning a 5 mile run after work. Not knowing this, my husband asked early in the day if I wanted to go on a family run after work. I told him I'd be running 5 and he and our little guy could join me if they so desired. He said that he'd do 3 with me, which is fine because 6'5" guys aren't your typical long distance runners. Is 5 miles even considered long distance? If you want to know my opinion, the answer is yes.

Summer already seems long gone and fall has definitely made an entrance. It's been cool and a bit rainy, but yesterday afternoon was just beautiful. I had to take the opportunity to run outdoors while I can (I do not run in the cold if I can help it). My boy was excited to go running as usual. As soon as we set out on a course near our house that I had mapped on MapMyRun.com, he knew we'd pass by the bulldozers working on building the next step up neighborhood. He was beside himself with excitement. I love that my boy is filled with so much joy. You can see it in every ounce of his body and being.

Mile 1: Great start. My husband and I are talking. We get to the bulldozers and our boy is in awe. The bulldozers are still out working and making all sorts of noises that two year olds adore. We slowed down a bit so that our boy could take it all in, but continued on our route.

Mile 2: Our boy is begging to go back and see the bulldozers. An almost two year old begging? Seems weird, right? Mmm hmmm. No. Not weird. He continues to beg the entire second mile. We ran up a giant hill and a semi truck and UPS truck passed us, which helped distract him for a while. At the top of the hill, I wanted so desperately bad to stop and catch my breath, but my husband told me to keep going. I did. It was really, really hard.

Mile 3: We were on a straight road. No elevation change. No curves. It was a long road. It never seemed to end. My husband and son started on their way back on a different path. And yes, this path would take them back to the bulldozers (where they happened to stay and watch them work for a good 15 minutes). Our boy's lucky day!

Mile 4: I was on my own. I stopped to walk for a minute and put my ear buds in. Pandora played some great Mumford & Sons-like music. I looped through a neighborhood near our house. A whole bunch of people were out walking their dogs and I nodded and smiled as I ran by them. One guy was out walking a Westie and I could've sworn it was Anthony Bourdain. Tall, slender, grayish hair, black jacket. Looked a bit like he might have an attitude. I passed him a second time and wondered if his camera crew was out hiding somewhere and I was going to be on his show! But then I remembered I was running and really didn't want to appear on TV in this sweaty state. My mind wanders as I run and sometimes this works in my favor. Unfortunately, after I realized I wasn't being taped for No Reservations, I noticed that I had a horrible side cramp. I walked for about 5 minutes to help it go away, which made me feel a little lazy, but it felt like a good decision at the time.

Taking a breather around mile 4.5

Mile 5: The majority of mile 5 was a series of little rolling hills. Up and down. Up and down. I ran this entire last mile and I think I ran it with a bit more pep in my stride than the fourth. I could sense that the end was near. I just had to get to the stop light up ahead and be done with it.

Annnnd, done. Whew. I walked about a quarter of a mile home. I caught my breath and enjoyed a few minutes of alone time. When I turned onto our street and walked up our driveway, my son, who was playing outside with my husband, shouted, "Bullsosers!!! I saw bullsosers, mommy!"  Joy.

A Date with My Boy

Over the weekend, I took my baby boy (who really isn't much of a baby anymore) out for a morning run. My husband was out of town and it was just mommy and son. My baby gets excited for runs. He likes to say, "Go running! Go running!" He loves to go fast, look at dogs, and is always on the look out for bullsosers... bulldozers. So, that morning I asked him if he wanted to go running with mommy. I knew he'd say yes.

We set out on a trail that runs along the Mississippi River in St. Paul. It was beautiful. The sun was warm, but the air was cool. Perfect. I like running with my boy because he loves to be outside and I just like being with him. But it is really, really difficult. He's not light, the jogging stroller is big and the path was slanting towards the river just enough that I had to force the stroller to keep in line. All in all, I had to expend more energy than I really wanted to (if I'm being honest...) for a leisurely morning run. After a few minutes, I felt okay and had gotten into a rhythm. We got to a turnaround point and headed back. My boy really wanted to see a boat on the river and I could hear voices coming from the water. We came to a clearing up on the bluff overlooking the river and there were a few crew boats going by. Man, I have great timing! My boy got to see the boats, but I told him we had to keep going. I shouldn't have stopped. He wanted to stay looking at the water and boats. I snapped a quick photo with my phone because it was too beautiful not to capture it. The leaves are just starting to turn orange. In a few weeks, this whole bluff will be orange, yellow and red.

And then he started whining again, so we made a mad dash for the car and I told him we'd go get a treat. We had run about 1.5 miles, which I was okay with, and then drove up to Starbucks. I bought him strawberry mango fruit snacks and I enjoyed a grande Pikes Roast coffee with a vanilla shot (and maybe a drop or five of half-n-half). We sat across from each other at a little table by the window in the coffee shop and talked... as much as you can have a conversation with a toddler. He had no idea where he was, but he couldn't wipe the grin off his face. It was a good date.

I'm meeting a long-time friend for a run tonight. I'm looking forward to having a girl talk. Later this weekend, my goal is to run 5 miles. It's nearly two weeks til race day. I'm excited!

Whew... that was fun!

I set out on my run the other night just as I had planned. It was a gorgeous Minnesota fall evening. The sun was warm, but the air was getting cooler as the day went on. Perfect. I drove to a lake just a few miles from my house, parked where I could find a spot and hopped on the trail along with all the other runners, walkers and bikers out that afternoon. The loop is about 2.6 miles, and I had planned to do two loops.

The run started out great, which is partly due to the Mumford & Sons music coming into my ears. Now that I think about it, that's not really workout type of music, but it worked for me that night. I set out with a decent pace. My goal was to run slowly in order to do two loops, but sometimes you get in a groove and you just go with it. I finished loop one and felt like I had done a good job. I looked over at my parked car and really wanted to get in and go home. The other part of me knew I should run more. The sun was setting more and I really hate being alone in the dark despite the high traffic path I was running on. There was time for a little more, so I went on.

I decided turn around once I got to a certain point. The certain point was a big curve in the path that overlooks the lake. There's a little bench for people to sit on and relax. The certain point is also at the top of a little hill. Seemed like a natural place to turn. When I got to that little bench on top of the hill, I turned right around and headed back for the car. My body felt great. This was a fun run because while I didn't do 2 laps, I pushed myself more than I thought I would.

Right before I got to the car, I looked out over the lake and had to stop to take a picture with my phone.

These 4.6 miles, in this beautiful weather, in this gorgeous area of the world, completely brought my sanity back.

Sleep Deprivation

I am sleep deprived. How did I ever make it with an infant and function at work on 3 or 4 hours of sleep on a consistent basis? Maybe I didn't function well. Let's not ask my boss.

My boy is sick. Cough. Snot. Sleepless nights. No appetite. Around 3 AM last night, my husband and I hear a sad whining sound coming from our boy's room. My husband goes to check on him. After some high-pitched screaming, my husband returns to our room, gets back under the covers and says, "He wants his mom." I feel delighted that my boy wants his mommy in the dead of night, but so frustrated that these sleepless nights are continuing. I go into his room and he screams, "Go away! Go away!" I didn't even know my boy knew those words. I got down closer to his head (well, as close as I could without actually getting into his crib) and quietly whispered, "It's mommy... are you ok? It's mommy." After a few moments, he opened his eyes noticing it was me standing there. He grabbed one of his blankies and nuzzled his head into my neck as if saying, "I'm ready to come sleep in your room now. Thanks." And, so he did. I'm a pushover. The kid is sick and I just wanted to sleep. Unfortunately, he sleeps sideways when he comes in our room and I generally get kicked in the head or ribs until sunrise. But my little boy wanted to be with me. I can handle the kicks. I think I can handle the sleep deprivation. I'm not sure I can handle leading a meeting in a few short hours at work. Can I just please stay home and sip on a pot of hot coffee in the morning? Please?

In order to unload all the crazy that has been going on in my world lately, I am planning to hit the trails this afternoon. I am going for a run by myself to clear my head and to continue training for a new race! A few weeks ago, I signed up for the TC 10K with a couple friends. The race is in 24 days and I'm really looking forward to it. First, I'm excited that it isn't 13.1 miles. Second, I'm excited it is more than a 5K. Basically, I'm excited that I have to train, but I don't have to kill myself training. This will be a good distance for me. I hadn't been doing much plain old running while soccer was in full swing this summer, so getting a race on the list of things to do this fall is a good thing.

My soccer season ended 2 weeks ago and I'm so proud to say that our team came in second! Go Club America! Playing with this team was certainly a highlight of my summer. I scored two goals, played a lot of center forward and played a lot of defense. I had horrendous shin splints during and after each game for days, but I didn't let it slow me down. Soccer ended up being a great (and healthy!) stress reliever for me in the midst of a very stressful time at work. I'm thankful to have such a fun team to play with and I love that we all enjoy playing together.

But the soccer season is over. I don't have that once a week 90-minute exercise time built into my schedule anymore. The TC 10K comes at a great time. The race is about a month after soccer ended, which doesn't allow me to stop running. I can't stop running. No matter how sleep deprived I am. Gotta keep going. My body is telling me "noooo..." but I know my mind could benefit from sweating a bit.

More to come on the training!

Vote!

The Livesays have a chance to receive a $50,000 grant, which would allow them to build their much needed maternity center in Haiti. Please vote for them! You'll find the link in this blog post.

I'm hoping to revive this blog soon. I've taken some time off from running even though I'm still playing soccer and took a great tennis class back in June. My right foot hasn't been feeling the same since the half and rest from distance running is what I've needed.

Back soon!

The Run for Harbor House

The half marathon was last Sunday morning. It was a bright and beautiful summer morning. It had been forecasted to be bright and beautiful all week long, which made me excited about the race. I feared a downpour or humidity so bad that you sweat without even moving. The weather was perfect last year and good weather just makes everything better, right? If I have good weather, the race just has to go well. Or so I thought.

I woke up on Sunday at 5:15 AM. It's the first time I set my alarm clock in months and months and months. I checked about 4 times to make sure I set it correctly. We have the early rising son, remember? When my alarm went off (what an awful sound), I didn't even remember how to turn it off. That's how rarely we have to use our alarm clocks. But I really needed my alarm to work on Sunday because race start was at 7 AM. One of my pet peeves is being late. I hate being late. To anything. It bothers me. Being late for my half marathon was not an option. We planned to leave the house at 6:15 and because we left at 6:17, my stomach started to ache. Will we get there on time? Will I have time to line up in the back of the pack with the rest of my fellow slow and steady runners? What if I have to use the bathroom? If I'm late, I won't have time to go! I can't run if I have to go!

My husband sensed my anxiety. He must have seen me glancing between the car's clock and looking out the window. And again. And again. Back and forth. Finally, he calmly said from the driver's seat, "Don't worry. We'll get you there in plenty of time." He patted my knee. I relaxed.

We arrived downtown Minneapolis ON TIME and I jumped out of the car at an intersection 1.5 blocks from the race start. My baby boy was in the back seat and gave me a look that said, "Wait... where are you going? She's leaving us!" The adorable little guy was still in his jammies. How cute are toddler boys in their truck jammies?! I walked fairly confidently to the start. There were crowds of people everywhere. Music was blasting. The sun was shining down on us, but it wasn't too warm yet. Runners of all shapes and ages lined up according to their pace. I chose the 11-minute mile pacer. I am willing to admit that I run slowly. I got lined up and had about 5 minutes to wait. I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't put in my headphones so I could take in all the excitement. I just stood there looking around thinking about what I had to get done and why I was doing it. Deep breath in.... Out.... And then we were off!


I wore nearly the same outfit I wore last year. Black and pink tempo shorts, my new half marathon-sponsored white running hat and the black cotton tank from GapBody that is so old I can't even remember when I bought it. But that's my running outfit. At one mile in, I already sensed the temperature rising. I wondered if I'd regret wearing black shorts and shirt.


The first few miles seemed pretty easy. The course was slightly different than last year's. We crossed the Mississippi River three times on three different bridges, and on one of them, I could feel mist from the river. At mile 4, I had to stop and use the bathroom. Maybe I drank too much water before the race. I got in line and waited a solid 10 minutes for my turn. I nearly left the line because I got frustrated with how many people I saw run by while I stood there. The pacer I was following so well was long gone. I was convinced that I'd for sure come in last place after this stop. Finally, it was my turn. I opened the door and felt disgusted with what I saw in the port-a-potty, but I went in anyway. Thank goodness the hand sanitizer hadn't run out. After that stop, I felt the urge to catch up to the pacer, but in doing so, I got an awful side cramp and I think I blew a lot of energy just trying to get a good time. I'm not even sure what good is for me, so it was probably a silly idea. I'm also not sure why I cared about my time when I decided going into this race that I wouldn't be concerned about time.

I ran miles 5 and 6 trying to catch the pacer, but stopped at every PowerAde and water station along the way to hydrate. The sun continued to heat up the air and there were no shaded areas for a good distance. I felt very warm.

Can you sense the mental battle I am starting to face?


I turned the corner and came down a huge hill. It's the same hill that I would finish the race on because the course loops and mile 12 is completely uphill. At least this year I wasn't surprised by the big hill like I was last year :) Just before mile 7, I stopped to walk for a little bit. I felt discouraged and disappointed in myself. I kept thinking about my race last year and how I remember telling my husband at mile 8 that I felt fantastic. My mind was fighting against me. My legs felt like heavy weights even though my lungs felt perfectly fine. My right foot didn't hurt at all. Not once during the race did I feel pain other than my legs feeling incredibly heavy. I prayed to get that light, flying feeling as I ran.

A few things kept me going:


1. I knew that I had to and more importantly, wanted, to finish the race because despite the battle I was enduring, I was doing the race for the moms in Haiti. Despite everything I was feeling at the time, I wanted to finish it to represent them.
2. I knew that straight ahead at mile 8, I would see the faces of my mom, dad, husband and baby boy.
3. I knew that probably a little bit past that, I'd see the faces of my sister-in-law and brother-in-law cheering me on.
4. The weather kept me going. I tried to remind myself that it is sunny and beautiful. An ideal day for running. It might be a little hotter than I'd like, but at least it isn't pouring rain and miserable.

At mile 8, I saw those faces I expected and my mom immediately said, "You look GREAT! How do you feel?" I replied, "Horrible!" I took a picture with my baby boy just like last year, took a swig of my mom's freshly brewed iced tea (okay, I took two huge swigs), and off I went. About half a mile past them, I saw my sister-in-law and brother-in-law waving their arms to get my attention. More faces!! They both had cameras pointed at me, which reminded me to always keep good form while running :) It was refreshing to see them. I took the raspberry energy goo at mile 9 with water this year. Last year, I sucked the whole packet down without water and the goo sat like a rock in my stomach. I made a promise to myself that I'd never take the goo without water again. The goo + water helped.


Miles 9 and 10 were just as difficult physically. I ran some, walked some. I tried the running for one song, walk for one song thing. Around 10.5 miles, I saw my sister-in-law and brother-in-law again since I had looped back for the finish. They cheered and cheered. At mile 11, I saw my mom, dad, husband and baby boy. I took more iced tea from my mom. Part of me didn't want to leave them, but they assured me they'd be at the finish. My husband yelled, "TWO MILES! You've GOT this!!!" I've got it. I can do it.


The mile 12 hill appeared. No breaks. Just one giant hill. I wasn't the only one walking part of the way up the hill. Just past mile 12, a girl came up behind me and we started a conversation. She was so kind and sweet. She had run long distance races before and agreed that this particular run was a difficult one for her too. In half a mile, we talked about our jobs, my baby, where we live, other races we've run, our thoughts on the race we were doing at that exact moment, the weather, and spoke with other people around us. I felt like we became friends in those few minutes, yet we never exchanged names. So, wherever you are runner girl, I couldn't have done it without you.


Runner girl and I approached the finish line. We could see the big FINISH banner ahead. With a little bit more giant hill to go up, a spectator started shouting, "KILL THE HILL!!! KILL THE HILL!!!" She was shouting and chanting. Runner girl and I looked at each other like "should we?!" with smiles on our faces. Where was that spectator miles ago?!


The runner girl and I so killed the hill. I gave her a "great job! keep it up!" and she returned the encouragement. When we got to the top of the hill, we both made a dash for the finish. I felt as though my legs were falling off. My headphones, which had been draped over my neck ever since Runner Girl and I started chatting, were flying behind me and getting tangled up in my arms. I crossed the finish line smiling. I nearly broke down into tears.


I finished it. Immediately after crossing the line, I looked up and made eye contact with my parents standing just feet from the finish line. My dad had his iPhone out snapping pictures of me. I felt such a rush of emotions. I felt that I pleased my parents. I felt that the young mothers in Haiti had a new representative for them. I felt that although I had so many hurdles during training, I still did it. It was a different kind of sense of accomplishment than last year though. Last year, I did it for me and only me. I had to prove to myself I could do it. This year, it was mighty difficult, but I made a promise to these moms and to Harbor House that I'd do it. You supported me and there was never a day I thought I wouldn't do this race. It was for them and for you. We raised 80% of the goal and I think that is fantastic. I've never met a single one of these Haitian mothers, yet I know they'd be so encouraged by your support.


Throughout the run, I prayed that these mothers and the Harbor House would be blessed by the money you've donated and that they would feel support, compassion, encouragement, and strength in the days ahead. Strength for the challenging days. And absolute joy in all the great days.

Mile 8

Thank you!

Almost here!!!

The big race is this weekend... THIS weekend! I'm really excited and a little bit nervous. It helps knowing that I was able to finish it last year. I'm excited because I'm looking forward to completing the race I felt so compelled to run months ago. I am so thankful to those of you who are supporting me in this run for the Harbor House. I know I'll be thinking about those moms a lot while I'm running.

I'm a little bit nervous because I've had a few hiccups in my training over the last 2 weeks. A pain in my right foot due to starting up soccer for the first time in two years lasted for about a week. For a few days, it was way too tender to run on and I didn't want to injure myself more than I thought I already had. I took a few necessary days off to rest. Last Thursday, I had the day off because my sister's wedding was over Memorial Day weekend and I took full advantage of a nice, sunny morning all to myself (my boys still went to work and daycare). I ran Nokomis twice around and my foot didn't bother me one bit. That was so encouraging. I finished those 6 miles feeling like I could do the race and not have to worry about an injury.

On Saturday, my sister and her groom tied the knot at a gorgeous wedding ceremony and reception. We had a great time! I was an obedient matron of honor and bought nude, closed-toed high heels to match the other girls. They looked great with our J.Crew bridesmaids dresses, but my feet hated the shoes. By the end of the night, I had a nice cut on the joint on my right foot big toe. Today, Thursday, is the first day it actually doesn't hurt all that badly and I am once again feeling like I can do this race. For a few days though, even putting on loose tennis shoes hurt and I was walking with a dorky limp at work. All for a little cut that caused an awful lot of pain.

Throughout these two weeks, I felt like my body was working against me. I started getting paranoid that I would only be able to walk the race. At times I wondered if I'd even be able to walk that far. My right foot has just been annoying.

The forecast for Sunday is sunny and upper 70's. I'll take it! My husband, baby boy and parents plan to come cheer me on and I'm very much looking forward to seeing their faces. Once again, thanks to all of you who are supporting the Harbor House through this run. It means the world to me and I'm so thankful to have an amazing reason to push through and complete 13.1 miles. If you're interested in supporting the Harbor House and the young moms, there's still time. Please click the Chip In button at the top of the blog.

Happy running!

Physical Limits

Last week I was reminded that the human body has limits. When I run or workout in general, I don't always feel like I've worked hard enough if I'm not in some kind of pain, my lungs aren't burning, or the sweat from my head isn't dripping into my eyes. I want to end a workout knowing I pushed myself to the limit in order to make it worth my time. Working out is time away from my family, so I'm doing my best to make that time worthwhile.

Our run around the lake last week went well and I felt like I put everything into it. My husband pushed the 31-pound weight in the jogging stroller and ran with me the first time around the lake. The path was so busy that we couldn't even run beside each other. He ran ahead of me and I was drafting behind him. It works in cycling... it has to work in running too, right? It was a difficult run mostly because of strong winds. I don't think I've run in peaceful weather yet this spring, so I'm hoping its not a sign that race day will be awful too.

My boys pulled over after one lap and let me keep going. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it around another 1.5 times because I truly felt exhausted after the first one. My body finally got in a groove and before I knew it, I was half way around. I was feeling more confident. That didn't last long though. A few minutes later, my knees started to burn. They were hollering at me to stop. Stopppp!! I didn't. I wanted to, but I didn't. I ran the entire second lap around the lake making it 6 miles total.

My knees just couldn't make it another half lap around the lake. So many thoughts went through my head and I tried not to feel like a failure. I'm not above walking when I need to for the half marathon and I know that adrenaline on race day will keep me going far longer than going out for a plain old training run. I finally justified stopping for two reasons. First, I don't want to injure myself before the race or burn out my knees. Second, two days after this run, I had my first soccer game and I wanted to feel good for the game.

Going into the first game, I had some crazy nerves. I was excited, but nervous at the same time. I hadn't played in two years and even though I've been running -- in a straight line with a nice, slow pace for months -- I knew the game would be painful. And oh was it painful. I started out the game playing left defense. The first run down the field, I nearly tripped over my own feet. Good save. Whew. Second run down the field wasn't as lucky. It felt like a whole minute went by as my arms and legs were flailing wildly going down the field and I tumbled and rolled right in front of my teammates on the sideline. Just pathetic.

After that, I recovered, but throughout the rest of the game, I was gasping for air and realized my sprints weren't as good as I'd hoped they'd be. Everything is harder the first time around. By the second half, everyone seemed warmed up and I'm happy to report that nobody puked (at least that I'm aware of). We tied 2-2.

I was so sore in the 24-48 hours after the game, but it was a good sore. My body hadn't made those kinds of movements in two years and I was so happy to be feeling sore all over the place. My back was even sore and I swear my hamstrings shortenend by about 3 inches. My body certainly reached its physical limits last week both with the 6 mile run and the soccer game. But both times I felt great afterwards. Well, I felt great once my knees stopped burning and once the game was over and my sister-in-law and I chatted in the car for 45 minutes about how fun it was to be playing again.

I'm still working on pushing it to the limit every time I'm running, playing soccer, or doing some other kind of workout. Pushing it means its going to be painful and maybe not always very enjoyable, but in the end, that's what gets results and gets me in better physical shape. It burns the stress right out of my system and allows my mind to go somewhere else for an hour that doesn't involve toddler frustrations or work demands. I don't always enjoy it while I'm doing it, but I know its worth it in many ways.

Mothers

I'm one day behind, but happy Mother's Day to all you mothers and soon-to-be mothers out there! What a special day to celebrate being a mom. I spent a good portion of the day yesterday trying to teach my little guy how to say "I love mommy!" I think he caught on slightly because he said, "I... yuv.... Mommy!!!" Even if I told him to say it, it still melts my heart. I love that kid to pieces.

The countdown to race day continues. Four weeks to go! There was not one possible moment to squeeze running in this weekend, so its gonna happen tonight. It is. It has to. The rain must hold off!!

My goal: 7 miles

Seven miles was the longest run I did before the half last year and I'm hoping to get farther along this time around. My goal was 10, but we'll see about that. My husband and son are going to join me tonight for part of the run. We're headed out to a nice lake not too far from our house. It'll take 2.5 times around it to get to 7 miles, but I think I can do it. Hopefully I won't get dizzy :)

I'm looking forward to this run tonight. After a very busy, but very fun weekend, I'm in need of some hard work and sweat action. As I rocked my son at bedtime last night, I leaned down to give him a kiss and thanked him for making me a mommy. I couldn't be happier. If I didn't have him, I'd be getting so much more sleep and my house would be much cleaner, but none of that matteres when I see his cute face. I am so incredibly thankful for him. I'm thankful for my mom. She's the most hospitable person I know and rarely passes up an opportunity to hang out with me. She makes every moment special. Even a simple family dinner thrown together last minute somehow has candles and a little something from Lund's for dessert. I'm thankful for my mother-in-law. I truly am. She has a golden heart, is an amazing cook and begins all her emails to me with "Hi Dear." She raised quite the son, too. I'm thankful for both my grandmothers. Both of them are living and I've been fortunate enough to live relatively close to them my entire life. They both established traditions and values that have carried over into our own lives as my husband and I raise our son. Both of my grandmothers call my husband their grandson even though he has zero blood relation to them. They love him as if he was born right into their family. What an amazing gift I've been given.

Six

In my last post, I told you about my 5 mile run. I was hoping to be further along with my training by this point, but sometimes you can't control what's going on with the rest of your life. Just gotta press on.

Two days after the 5 mile run, I did 3 miles at the gym in the evening after work. I am usually the one who puts our son to bed at night, but I missed out on that in order to run. I felt a little sad about missing bedtime, but I know I have to keep up the running and I know that my husband enjoys the bedtime routine with our son too... I guess I have to share. The routine is: put on jammies, drink 3 ounces of milk from a bottle (I can't break the habit... taking away this bottle means he is no longer a baby), say a goodnight prayer, sing "Jesus Loves Me" and then say "I love you" about 15 times before putting him in his crib. I love that routine. Simple, easy, short, but so precious. Sometimes I wonder if my toddler is thinking "Mommy, enough with the kisses! Put me down so I can go to sleep already!!!"

The run that night was good though. I'm glad I was able to get to the gym and knock out 3 miles in 30 minutes. It was similar to my 5 mile run. I felt great, felt happy, felt alive. I grocery shopped after the run and may have purchased a few unnecessary items due to post workout hunger. It happens.

That was Tuesday night. I didn't run the rest of the week to give my knees a little rest. It didn't work out in our schedule to run Friday or Saturday, so I knew I had to run Sunday. I think Sunday is quickly becoming my long run day.

My goal: 6 miles

Due to the crappy May 1st weather, I ran indoors at the gym. As I drove to the gym, I saw people running outside with winter hats and gloves on. I thought that maybe I'm too weak and should be running outside like the rest of them. But that thought quickly faded. Who am I kidding... I hate running in cold weather. I arrived at the gym and saw that my favorite treadmill next to the window was available. Yessss! I hopped on, pressed start and nothing happened. It was broken. Lame. I moved over one to the left (one spot further away from the window), which ended up being okay. Is anyone else as picky about their treadmill location as I am?

The run started off well. I listened to the David Crowder Pandora station again and gave a thumbs up to a few songs throughout the run. My mind wandered a little bit throughout the run. It was definitely more difficult than the 5 miler last Sunday. A couple reasons might be that first, the sun wasn't shining and second, I was hungry. I'm obviously a rookie runner because I went to the gym after church at lunchtime without having eaten anything since about 8:30 that morning. But more than anything, it was more challenging mentally yesterday.

Running is such a mental test. Especially running longer (for me) distances indoors. Miles 1 and 2 were just fine. At mile 3.5, I started feeling pretty tired (possibly the lack of food in my system). I stopped for a quick sip of water at miles 3, 4 and 5. I figured it was okay to take a quick water stop. I try to be invisible at the gym, so if I passed out by trying to not stop running and not drink water, people would really notice me flying off the treadmill scoring treadmill burn on my face. I don't want that.

Once I got to 5.5 miles, I knew I could finish it. My mental game got stronger and I told myself I could do it. Throughout the challenging 3.5 to 5.5 miles though, I tried to focus on the Harbor House. I thought about the young mothers who we're raising the money for and that I need to push through this for them. It helped.

I did it. I got to 6 miles and in pretty good time too. I don't have a goal time in mine for this race. I ran the half in 2 hours and 30 minutes last year, so I'd like to beat that as a personal challenge, but that's not on the front of my mind.

It felt amazing to come home and tell my husband that I accomplished the 6 mile goal. He had a huge smile on his face and congratulated me. Despite the challenges during the run, it feels so good to accomplish that goal. Maybe its sweeter knowing that it was difficult and yet I didn't quit.

I'm curious to see what next Sunday will bring.

My Easter Run

I've had two amazing runs in the last few days. I'll tell you about the first one in this post.

Last week, I planned to run on Friday after work, but a family dinner at D'Amico came up and I chose to attend that instead. You would have too. Yum! I planned to run on Saturday morning before Easter festivities started with my family. We celebrated a day early to accommodate schedules. A run wasn't going to fit in. I told myself that I had to run on Sunday, but Sunday was actually Easter and we had a full day planned. I needed a run though.

Fortunately, I have a son who wakes up ridiculously early, so we were up with him hours before the Easter church service was going to start. I told my husband that I was heading to the gym and off I went.

It was a gorgeous Easter morning. After days of rain, the sun came out. Seemed fitting to be so bright and happy on Easter Sunday. The drive to the gym was so pretty that I was actually really excited to go run. Because it was so early and because it was Easter Sunday, the gym was deserted. I had the top choice in treadmills. I chose one right by the window where I could soak in the sunshine. The music I chose to run to was a David Crowder Pandora station. Pandora made some great song choices and off I went.

My goal: 5 miles

It was 7:20 when I started the run. I started slowly to ease into it and it was so enjoyable that I think I was smiling. Yes, I was smiling... I know was... no reason to say, "I think." I wore my favorite green Puma hat and probably thought I could hide my happy face under it so nobody saw me acting all giddy. Who is this happy when running? Seriously.

I ran 1 mile, 2 miles, 3 miles and as I approached mile 4, I started to feel fatigued. It was also around this time that my phone battery died. Noooo. It was just me, my thoughts and the gym music that kept me going. It was peaceful though. I got through mile 4 and hit mile 5 on the 54-minute mark. I never said I was a fast runner. I did a quick stretch and headed home. I had to get my adorable almost 18 month old ready for Easter! When I walked in the door at home, I found my son, who was freshly bathed, and my husband sitting on the top of the stairs waiting for me. They both smiled ear to ear upon seeing their wife and mommy gross and sweaty. What a day! And it was only 8:45.

Good run. Great family. Amazing holiday.

Thank you!!!

You all are wonderful! The mothers in Haiti are so lucky to have such great supporters! Seeing the support encourages me to continue my training and to run strong for the moms. Thank you so much for helping me help them. It really means a lot.

After I posted about the fundraiser last week, I took my first 2-night trip away from my toddler. I flew to Seattle to visit my sister, who is a senior in college out there. We had amazing plans. The weekend schedule looked like this:

Dinner out Thursday night, hike Friday morning in the mountains, hang out in Queen Anne all afternoon, have dinner downtown Friday night, Saturday morning breakfast at a local bakery, drinks lots and lots and LOTS of coffee, and explore Pike's Market Saturday afternoon.

My sister had every detail planned out. She had arranged to get out of class early, take the day off from her internship, her roommates to hike with us and for her boyfriend to have dinner with us. She's adorable. My first vacation post baby! I was very excited. And then... I got sick. So sick. Thursday night I held my stomach and whined. We watched three movies on Friday in front of her TV and fireplace. I tried my best to sip on Gatorade. The plans were out the window. By Saturday afternoon, I felt well enough to visit Pike's, but only for 45 minutes. I left Seattle not taking one sip of amazing Seattle coffee. What a shame.

I was really looking forward to going for a run while in Seattle. I wanted to challenge myself with the crazy hills they have there. I don't think they have flat ground in and around where my sister lives. She trained for a half marathon on these roads and I wanted to do the same. But I couldn't. So. Sick.

Last night, I finally made it to the gym to run for the first time since that trip over the weekend. I was nervous how it would go since my caloric intake over those few days had been quite minimal. I went into it thinking that I'd run 2 miles and probably feel beat doing that.

Mile 1: I ran at 5.0 and felt as if I could run at that speed forever.

Mile 2: I ran at 5.5 and felt pretty good. I was definitely sweating, but wasn't breathing nearly as hard as I thought I'd be.

I stopped for a quick water break and started up again.

Mile 3: I ran at 6.0 and felt like I was pushing myself, but knew I could make it. I got pretty tired at 2.47 (yes, I remember) and felt a little discouraged. I kept telling myself that I am training for this race and I can do it. I also told myself that anyone can do anything for 5 more minutes. My husband tells me that and it worked.

I finished out this 3 mile run and felt great. I was doing some serious sweating, but my body was working hard after all the awfulness of last weekend. This weekend I'm planning a 5 mile run outside (IF it hits 60 degrees like its supposed to!). I love the way I feel this morning after that run last night.

The Harbor House

I started this I Run For blog because I felt like I had so many reasons to get my body moving. As a mom, I need to run to feel healthy and to get a little me time once in a while. As a mom and full-time employee for a global company, I need to run to just rid myself of daily stress. Last year, I ran my first half marathon and I did it for myself. I felt amazing when I finished, had a new sense of confidence and knew I would run that race again. I'm doing the Minneapolis Team Ortho Half Marathon again this June. However, this time I'm not doing it for myself.

I run for The Harbor House.

There are some amazing people I know who moved their family to Haiti roughly 5 years ago and are part of a team of people who run The Harbor House. This house is a safe home for teen moms and their young children. A place of refuge.

I had the idea to run for these young mothers months ago, but never acted on the nudge I felt. I was scared. Nervous. I felt like I am just one person and how can I possibly make a difference for these young girls and their babies. They have been through so much in their short lifetime and now as new moms will experience so much more. They will have joyful experiences and challenging ones, too. I was a new mom just a short while ago and felt those challenges myself. I ran the race last year to regain my strength and to prove to myself I could be a great mom. The nudge I felt would not go away and it was one Sunday morning while sitting in church that I decided I needed to run that race. It was on my heart and would not go away. I am running this race again, but this time to raise money for The Harbor House in hopes that these moms will too find strength, confidence and the insane amount of love for their child that I have found for mine.

My goal is to raise $712 by race day. This amount covers one week at The Harbor House. Please click on the Chip In event on the top of my blog if you're interested in helping me raise money for this home.

From the Livesay's blog:
"The house is in the process of being upgraded and changed each week and is therefore still very much under construction. We've been having fun painting and planning. Soon another carpenter is coming to build beds with drawers for each young woman and her child. The work is on-going and we're laboring to make the house feel like a home. We'll share photos of the house itself as things continue to change.

Each day there are planned activities (school, chores, classwork, group Bible study) and each month there are days the girls are able to leave to go visit family. Saturday and Sunday are visitation days when the girls' families can come to the Harbor House. Weekends are much less structured. The girls will soon begin taking a jewelry making class and in April we'll begin a trauma support group with them.

The most important thing happening at Harbor House is the daily modeling of respect, conflict resolution, child-rearing, and problem solving. The day in and day out real-life examples being shared by those of us that are living here in community with them far exceeds the importance of reading, writing, or arithmetic.

It is our hope and our belief that investing in these young mothers is investing in the future. Ten young moms raise ten secure, well-loved, well-attached children who go on to raise their own well-loved, well-attached and secure children ... "

I have run for myself. Now I run for all of the other new moms in Haiti.

processing

I run to clear my mind. Some days there is too much to process. Too much to think about in one day. Lately I feel like I've been surrounded by others who are going through great suffering in their lives. I don't understand it. I run to process it, but it doesn't take away the fact that there is still such great suffering happening. How do I help these people. If I am struggling to process and am not nearly as deeply affected as they are, how are they processing?

I run to process, to think, to hope, to pray, to remember life is short, to thank God for the beautiful child He gave us, to think about the endless list of things I love about my son, to smile when I think about my husband and pray to God that He gives us so many more years together that we're old and gray and can't hear each other speak.

Some days running is for clearing out my head and reflecting on all I've been given.

Family Fun!

Maybe this time the snow has melted for good. I hope so. My husband is very concerned the lake won't warm up very much this summer at the cabin. That won't stop him from waterskiing far too many times in one day though. If I waterskiied as much and cut as hard as he does in one day, I wouldn't be able to move any of my limbs due to soreness.

On Saturday, it was a beautiful sunny day. We put our little guy in the jogging stroller and headed out for a run around the neighborhood. We jogged through the "next step up" development and noted how close together the houses are being built. Maybe we don't want to live here. We kept going and went through the 5,000 square foot homes neighborhood. We each picked out our favorite house. He picked the one I didn't like and same for me.

It was a pleasant run. Good speed. Warm sun. Just enough hills to make me work harder than the usual treadmill routine. Our son was getting antsy, so we had to speed up. My husband's stride is so long and he will always be in better shape than me. He wasn't even breathing hard while running fast and pushing the jogging stroller with a 33 pound weight wiggling around in the seat (that weight was was also whining for more crackers the entire second half of the run). My husband kept saying, "You got it! You can make it home. Let's pick it up more! You can do it."

Sure enough. I did it. I kept up with him. My heart was pounding and my legs felt like noodles. I like family runs. My husband is a great encourager. He got me over the 4 mile hurdle last year and I may need him to help me again this spring because...

I have a race in my future. A big one.

Preparation

I thought spring was here for good. Nope. Wrong. All our grass appeared over the weekend and then it snowed making our roof, deck, yard, driveway, and work parking lot covered in a heavy snow mess. Oh the nerve. And since I'm not a fan of running in the cold or on icy streets, I headed back to the treadmill. I am just longing to run in 80 degree weather with the sun blasting it's hot rays down on me (side note: I always wear sunscreen now when outside in the summertime. My wonderful sister-in-law is a dermatologist and supplies us with never ending amounts of sunscreen. I even have one bottle that is 85 SPF. It took her a while to convince me that being pale was better than having a nice summer glow, but I know in 30 years I will appreciate her perseverance with me.).

Last night, I went to the gym at 8 PM. I had just put my son down for the night, sat down to catch up on all things important on my iPhone (Facebook and Iowa Girl Eats), and nearly fell asleep for the night. Get up and get to the gym. Do it. Yawn. Just get up and go change. Yawwwwn. One, two, three... okay, I'm up. I put on my tempos and that red shirt that I'm apparently addicted to running in lately. For me, getting dressed for the gym is quite possibly the hardest part of the workout. Just getting the motivation to take the first step is the hardest. But once I'm dressed I'm good to go.

I started my run out at a nice 5.5 mph. I can tell my lungs and legs are getting in better shape because bumping the speed up to 6.0 doesn't feel taxing anymore. I love feeling like I'm improving. Before I knew it, I was at one mile. Then two. I started to get bored and honestly, I was pretty tired after four of the five days of work this week. I started speeding up. I made it all the way to 8.5 mph. At first I thought I couldn't control my legs, but all was okay.

When my lungs started to burn, and it didn't take that long, I had a realization: the soccer season starts in just over a month. I have to be able to run as fast as I possibly can for an entire game in about 6 weeks. Four years ago, I joined a women's soccer team. I joined with my friend who also ran the half-marathon. At the time, the team consisted of women just out of high school, women the same age as my mom, and all of us in between. I hadn't even touched a soccer ball since the last game I played my senior year of high school, so starting to play in my mid-20's was a little difficult. I forgot how fast-paced soccer was and how much sprinting was involved. I played for two summers, took one off because I was very pregnant, took last summer off because, well, I just couldn't get it together with nursing, working, mothering... yeah, you read that post... but this summer I will make my return.

My position of choice is right defender. I played defense in high school and never thought of myself as anything else. The second summer playing soccer, I had the chance to try playing mid-field and forward. Now those positions are exciting! I finally scored my first goal and had a celebratory DQ treat afterwards with my biggest fan, my husband. Two of my favorite things about soccer: speed and aggressive play. I prefer sprints over distance and I love running down an opponent. I love having green grass and mud smashed into my shin guards and scrapes on my knees at the end of the game. (To my future opponents: Please don't throw elbows until after Memorial Day weekend... I can't get bruises before my matron of honor duties are over. My sister will thank you. Thanks!) I haven't played in two years and I'm a little nervous about my ability to compete. Let's just make one thing clear... we're considered recreational, but we're serious competitors! Do not mess with "Club America." I want to do well. I want to be able to run down those opponents on game one and finish the game without puking behind the goal post.

I ran at 8.5 for a couple of 45 second stretches. On my second stretch, suddenly my legs stopped moving, but I thought I was still running. Um, what's going on? Am I passing out right now? Am I about to be that girl who falls flat on her face because she had the treadmill going faster than she could handle? Oh dear, I don't want a treadmill burn on my face! Then I looked down. I had accidentally pulled the emergency stop cord, which leads me to believe that I must've looked like a complete idiot with flailing arms right before pulling the cord. I had NO idea that the cord came out. After a good laugh, I restarted the machine and did two more 45 second sprints.

I finished up completely dripping in sweat. Awesome run. I am convinced that with a few more sprint training runs, I will be right on my way to scoring my second goal this summer. Bring on the DQ lemon lime arctic rush!

Holy Hills

Spring!!!! Today I ran to breathe and experience the fresh outside spring air! I love it!! Was this the loooongest winter on record? I think it might have been... according to me at least. The sunshine was drawing me outside, so as soon as my son went down for a nap, I headed to the great outdoors hoping to accomplish a good run. And, I think I did.

My husband, son and I moved into this neighborhood about 7 months ago and I didn't run outside very much before the first snowfall last year. I wasn't quite sure where to run today and where I needed to go to get a few miles in. Some of you are thinking "map it out ahead of time." Ha. Okay. Right. Actually, that is what I should do. We only moved roughly 7 miles from where we used to live (city to suburb), so I plan to go back to those running routes hopefully once a week this summer. Those were my half marathon training routes. Loved them. Huge, mature trees, old mansions, the river, the Minneapolis skyline only a few miles off in the distance. It was the best.

Today's run was suburban residential. I passed about 100 mailboxes, mini-vans plastered with the area's school decals whizzed by me and a friendly neighbor was walking his dog. It was different, but good. I ran through a new development behind our neighborhood. The houses are what we like to call "the next step up" and maybe someday we can buy one of them. Maybe. I turned a corner and exited the new development. The next neighborhood was about 20 steps up from "the next step up." Wow. I will never have the need for a 5,000 square foot home and I would never want to be responsible for maintaining the cleanliness of a home that big. But they're fun to look at. And imagine the Christmas parties you could host!

I left that neighborhood as a sparkling BMW entered the street. And then... there it was. A huge hill.

I was glad, but annoyed at the same time. Glad because I knew I needed to push my running self as this was my first outdoor run in MONTHS and we all know I always leave the incline on the treadmill at a nice round zero. I was annoyed because I knew it was be painful. I huffed and puffed up the hill. I got to the top. Woohoo. When I got up there, the hill went way back down to the end of the street. My plan was to run all the way down and then loop back on the same path all the way back home. Okay, back up the hill. I can do it. And enter a horrible, horrible wind. Cold, cold wind. I hate running in cold weather, so when earlier the wind was to my back and the sun was shining down on my very pale skin, it felt like a warm May or June day outside. And then I turned into the wind. Bleh. I quickly put myself in the mindset that the more hills I run up and the stronger the wind is in my face, the easier the hills will feel on the next run and the wind won't seem as strong.

I did it. I ran my cold legs back up that hill and all the way home. If I had to guess, I'd say it was about 2.5 miles. I may get around to checking it out online, but I think this run was more about putting my outdoor legs back on and getting up those hills. Good day in the neighborhood.

Or Not

Well, crap. I ran 4 miles. Not 5. I tried my hardest. I think. I could really go on and on with excuses... we left work later than normal, I couldn't stop kissing my baby's adorable cheeks and that delayed me getting to the gym, I had to get home on time.... but I won't go there. I should be proud of 4 miles and I am. It's just a little annoying that I wanted to do five and didn't get there. Next time.

The run tonight felt good though. I hopped on one of the few treadmills left in the entire cardio area. I wouldn't say that I really had the choice machine. Everyone in the south metro goes to the gym at 5:45. I knew this, but I still like going at this time of day - just after work, not enough time to get cozy and stuck at home, but early enough to get home and relax before bed. I will not tell you what time I go to bed though. It's too embarrassing.

On my left was an older fellow drenched in sweat. On my right was a young guy who was also drenched in sweat. His what I assume to be girlfriend came up and talked with him for a bit similar to how I go and bug my husband while he's working out sometimes. Yes, ladies, he is mine. Back off. Heh heh. In front of me was this crazy guy. He was doing sprint intervals like a mad man. I have to think he was training for an upcoming soccer season (me too... more on that later!) the way he was working the speedometer. The highest I saw it go - yes, of course I was looking - was 11.1 mph. Just seeing that number took my breath away. I was hoping nobody looked at mine and saw 5.5 and laughed hysterically at my slow speed, but incredibly sweaty shirt. I blame the extra sweat on a packed gym. The hot, sticky air just seems to hang there. Ish.

Eventually, young sweaty guy on my right left and a girl about my age took his place. She was wearing a hot pink top and started her run pretty fast. She didn't stop. She kept going. Oh man, now I have to keep going too. I was so curious to see how fast she was running. I finally got the nerve to glance just long enough to see her speed: 6.3 mph. Oh. Come. On! Are you serious? Is everyone going faster than me? I think I saw her glance over at my treadmill too. I wanted to turn to her and say, "Yes, 5.5. You're better than me. Go away." But just as my bad attitude almost got the best of me, she quit! When she left briefly to get a cleaning cloth to wipe down the treadmill, I looked again to see how far she went. 3.77 miles. I was on 3.97. And then I went to 4. YES! I win! I win!

I am ridiculous. I know this. But these are my distractions. Maybe if she hadn't stopped I would have run 5. No, I'll quit blaming all these other people. I'll get 5 sooner or later.

Five

The workday is almost over, although today is dragging by so slowly that it feels like it should have ended hours ago. That's okay though. After we leave work to pick up our son from daycare, I'm hitting the gym. Five miles. It'll be the most busy time of day, but I'm motivated right now. I even rolled down my socks so my sock lines fade away by the time I get there and wear my Nike tempo shorts (hmm... which pair: black and hot pink, black and white, or black and teal?). I love these shorts! I even play soccer in them. Love them. And I'm not so much a shorts person in general.

Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes. I have to be home at a certain time so that my husband can leave for his playoff basketball game. I have no choice but to keep the run going at a good pace tonight.

Work + Play + Sleep... oh and then run!

Fridays come and I think "ahhhhh the weekend is finally here!" Sigh of relief. But then I remember that all week long while my husband I were working at our day jobs, the rest of our life goes on the backburner. It is really challenging to be a mom and work full-time. As much as I hated my job the weeks following my return from maternity leave, I've come to appreciate the adult interaction and love the education our son is receiving at his daycare center.

I hated my job after returning to work for a few reasons. First, 2 weeks before I actually gave birth (I worked up until the night I went into labor... I'm so sorry to all my co-workers who had to look at my extremely swollen face those last couple weeks... uff dah), my department announced a major reorganization. I was so disappointed when I found out that everything about my job as I knew it would change. I was feeling confident in my role on my team and a shake-up was not what a 38 week swollen-faced pregnant lady wanted. So, the next day, my new boss held a meeting to do introductions. Mine went a little something like this:

Hello, I'm Brianna. I'm having a baby in two weeks... hopefully sooner... and I've never done this type of work before.

I think I came across less than pleasant. Fortunately, I wasn't the only pregnant person on the team, so I had sympathy coming from the other girl at least. My first week back to work after maternity leave was a little rocky. I returned to a new director, a new manager, a new team where I only knew one person (the other pregnant girl actually and she was still on maternity leave for another couple weeks after me! How dare she!), and I also knew absolutely nothing about the type of work I'd be doing. I had just dropped my son off at daycare for the first time and this shake-up is what I had to return to. I hated it.

It has been a little over a year since that first day back. I have a much different attitude towards my job now. Working outside the home gives me an opportunity to continue challenging myself professionally, but it also allows my son to have a wonderful learning experience at daycare. He started at 13 weeks old dressed in little button-up jammies and drank many, many ounces of pumped breast milk throughout the day. Now at 16 months, he has group time, eats lunch with the other kids at a table, sleeps on a cot, eats with a spoon, dances, reorganizes the furniture, waves goodbye to his friends when we pick him up in the afternoon and makes us the cutest little gifts for all holidays. I love it. He's 16 months old and he has a room full of little friends. Adorable.

The challenge comes when we work all day, eat dinner, play for an hour, and then put the little guy to bed for the night. He plays so hard all day that he crashes at 7. He'll spin in circles for 15 minutes laughing his head off and then WAHHHH...... cranky. Time for bed. Lights out until 5 AM. There is no time for anything else. None. Work. Play. Sleep. Repeat. Five times. Friday... ahhhhh, sigh of relief. But not really.

Weekend: laundry laundry laundry, sweep, vacuum, dishes, grocery shop, see family, see friends, reconnect with my husband, get a haircut, get the oil changed, RUN.

It is ridiculously hard for me to find time to workout. I only have one kid. It should be easy, right? I know people who have 7 kids who find time to run. Get it together and just go do it. Your life isn't that insane. That's what I have to tell myself. But it feels insane sometimes.

I had the chance to go run tonight. It's Sunday night at 6:45 PM. Our evening opened up last minute and I asked my husband if he'd put the little guy to bed so I could go to the gym. He always says yes. I changed into my new knee-length running pants and a t-shirt (the same red t-shirt from that 4 mile run). On the 10 minute drive over the gym through the snow, I went back and forth between wanting to do another longer run or do a fast run and get the whole thing overwith. I still had to grocery shop after the gym. It wasn't until I got on the treadmill until I decided to do a fast 2 mile run.

This run kind of sucked. I'm not going to lie. I don't think I was totally mentally prepared for it and I had left my iPod at home. All I had was my phone, so I listened to some random Pandora station that didn't really do it for me. My feet kind of hurt and so did my calves. My lungs felt like they were working pretty hard, but not because I was really pushing myself. They were screaming to have me quit. I got to 1.55 miles and I turned the speed up to 6.5, which I will remind you is fast for me. Not an all-out sprint, but pretty fast. I ran for a minute and thought "holy crap, I'm going to die... I want to stop." I didn't. Thirty more seconds. I did it. Thirty more seconds. Done. Fifteen seconds. 1.85 miles. Seriously? Already? Nice. Okay, 30 more seconds. Whew... dripping sweat here. I hope the lady behind me is gone now because I probably look really awkward right about now. 1.95 miles. I'm so going to get to 2 miles. I'm. Almost. There. YES! 2 miles! Cooldown.

My run completely turned around. I was just not into the run at first, but finishing strong totally made my night. I left and headed over to Cub to grocery shop at 8 PM. I felt good... hungry, but good. I needed that time to just decompress from the busy weekend. Sure, I was doing my weekend chore (I secretly like grocery shopping. I just wish I could go not on the weekend or in the evening when so many others are there too.), but the run and being out alone kind of helps prep me for the week. I have my meals planned out and have enough pineapple to keep my son happy all week. Favorite food of all time.

Random post. I fit the run in this weekend among everything else on the to-do list. I needed it. And it felt great.

The Treadmill and I

So many people hate running on treadmills, but I don't mind it so much and I think the reason is pretty lame. I think it is easier than running outdoors. Physically. Not mentally. You agree? My husband hates the treadmill, but he's also a foot taller than me, which makes running on a treadmill difficult when your stride is loooong. He also says that he gets bored so fast and prefers to run outdoors. I can see his point. I have come up with all sorts of mind games to play while I run indoors and I'll list some of them below.

My most recent run earlier this week was on the treadmill at the gym. I'm itching to run outside, but that day, we were being smothered with 18 inches of brand new snow. All signs of spring went out the window and I realized the treadmill and I would be together a while longer. This was my second run in a week. I fell off the running... working out all together... bandwagon for a while and am getting back on.

My goal: 4 miles.

I was going to run 4 miles whether my legs, lungs and mind liked it or not. I tend to start runs at 5.5 with zero incline... nice and flat for this girl. I get 2 minutes in and I'm bored to death. I bump the speed up to 6.0, 6.5 and 7.0, but then I crash. I crash fast. I never get past 3 miles when I let my mind get the best of me. I needed to break the habit, so 4 miles it was. I turned on my iPod, put my water bottle in the holder, put my sweat towel on the right hand railing and off I went. I forced myself to keep the 5.5 speed for all 4 miles. Because I kept a nice, steady pace, I felt great when I finished... so much so that I went back to old habits and put the speed up to 7.0 (FAST in my book) and ran until my vision became slightly blurry and got to 4.15 miles. With a cooldown walk, I ended my workout at 4.33 miles and felt fantastic. I may have been dripping sweat and my face was probably as red as the red tshirt I was wearing, but as my husband often reminds me: you're at the gym - you're supposed to look like this! Plus, its a sign that I worked hard, which makes me feel good about the experience too.

The mind games I played with myself to accomplish these 4 miles:

1. Don't look at the mileage on the treadmill. I don't put towels over the numbers like some people do because I like to glance down every once in a while and see how I'm doing.

2. Keep an eye on my husband, who was in the weight room area the entire time I ran, and pretend he's been checking me out the entire time. I like to think he thinks I look good when I run. True or not, I'm sticking to this theory.

3. Don't think about running. My thoughts that day consisted of these things: grocery shopping list, picking up our son from daycare and how fun that is, what I was going to make for dinner, remembering how awesome I felt finishing the half marathon, what I would write on this blog and of course, the theory in number 2 above.

4. Push through 30 more seconds when you think you can't go one second further. If I can get past 30 more seconds, I can do another 30 seconds. When I run outside, I use street lights, signs, houses, trees, anything I can to say that if I can get to that spot, I pushed through. Pushing through gives me confidence and also builds my physical running ability, so win win!

5. Talk yourself up. I pushed past those 30 seconds over and over. Yes!!! I rock!! I don't care how well people are working out around me, but if I beat a goal or a challenge I put in front of myself, I let myself know how awesome I think that is. Positive reinforcement, people.

I had a great run that day. I felt energetic and happy afterwards. I did this 4 mile run to prove to myself that I can push past 3 miles again (I haven't run past 3 since the half last summer). It is a mental milestone for me. I did it! My legs, lungs and mind beat the treadmill.

Half Marathon 2010

The run that brought sanity back to my life.

Aside from giving birth and adjusting to life as a new mother, training for the half marathon may have been the next most difficult thing I have done. It was about 3 months after I gave birth to my son and I felt like I was never going to get back in shape. I felt chubby and drained. Between multiple middle of the night feedings, returning to a full-time job after 12 weeks of maternity leave and trying to figure out how continuing my wife role fit in to this new life, I had no energy left to take care of my physical self. In those first couple months post-baby, I struggled to ever feel rested, rarely laughed at my husband's jokes and stressed myself out so much the first week back to work that I made myself vomit in a second floor bathroom. Life with a newborn.

Something had to change, so I started talking to a friend of mine who I thought would probably run a race with me since we had run one together in the past. I didn't want to run a 5K. It had to be something very, very challenging for myself. The half marathon. My friend was game almost immediately! The night came when we both agreed to sign up for the Minneapolis Half Marathon. We texted back and forth.

Me: Did you sign up yet?
Her: No, did you? I'm SO nervous.
Me: No, but I'm SO nervous too!
Her: Okay, I'm going to sign up right now. You better do it too!
Me: Okay, I'm going to sign up. Text me when you're done.
Her: Just signed up... WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?!
Me: I don't know!!!! I'm freaking out!
Her: Bri, we can do this! We are so going to do this.
Me: We totally are! Okay, now I'm excited!
Her: Me too!

No joke. That's about how the text conversation went. We signed up and had roughly 4 months to train. The next week, I ran on the treadmill at the gym. I think I ran 1.5 miles. It was my second or third time running since having the baby and my doctor warned me about working out too much and not letting my body adjust slowly. My doctor was right and I injured my knee. Too much too soon. I was so disappointed that running 1.5 miles caused an injury. I'd rather run through an injury than lay on the couch recuperating, but I could barely walk up and down the stairs without being in pain, so it was necessary for me to take time off. Three weeks later, my knee finally felt normal again. I did a couple 1 mile runs for a week just to get the feel of it. No pain!

My friend and I tried for weeks to get together for training runs. We had a couple scheduled and something always came up. We never did one run together in preparation for this race. She ended up training with her husband and he signed up for the race himself, which I thought was a fantastic idea. If he's going to put the miles in, he might as well run the actual race! She would email me reports about their runs, what their times were and how she felt. I learned from her emails that they would be running a faster pace than me and as the race approached, we decided that on race day they would run at their pace and I would run mine. Sure, we signed up together, but finishing the race was both of our goals... however we got there.

Not only was it impossible to find time to run with my friend, but it was nearly impossible for me to find time to run all by myself. Being a working, nursing mom only allowed for short windows of time where I could sneak in a run. My baby was still nursing every 3-4 hours during this time and I had to nurse him (or pump... gahh... the pump) right before every run, be back, stretch, and shower up before it was time to nurse again. And then find something to eat before bed. I found it difficult and mentally challenging to add another activity into my day, but I knew I had to do it. Every time I came back from a run, I felt amazing. I could feel my body getting stronger. My stomach chub was diminishing. My knees felt solid.

I also felt amazing because it was time I needed to just be me. All day long, I played the role of mom, wife and employee. I didn't have a chance to just be me and be alone. I didn't have time in the day to listen to my own thoughts or to just not think at all. Nobody talked to me, nobody spit up on me, nobody emailed me. It was just me. A lot of new moms, and probably experienced moms, must feel this way too. There was so much on my plate, so many expectations and it was increasily stressful to juggle it all.

Most of my training runs took place along the Mississippi River in St. Paul in the spring and eventually the start of summer. The path curves and bends in all the right places. There are little hills here and there and there are houses that line the boulevard that I can only dream about living in someday. It was a great path to have my me time on. Usually, because of my son's nursing schedule, I ran right after work around 6 PM. My favorite time of day. You know how the sun turns orange as its coming down and makes everything look richer? Perfect. Running was my escape. Whether it was 1 mile or 7 miles.

As it turns out, 7 miles was the longest run I did in preparing for the race. Rookie mistake, right? For a few days before the race, I couldn't get it out of my head that 7 wasn't enough and that I wouldn't be able to finish the race. All along, my goal was to just finish. If I had to walk, I would walk, but I was going to finish that race. I kept telling myself that and the nerves subsided.

Race morning: My alarm went off at 5 AM. I got dressed in my favorite running gear, struggled to put down a small amount of oatmeal and then very much struggled to eat a banana. After a brief stomach ache, it was time to nurse the baby, get in the car and go downtown. Our son is an eater. He never refuses food and back when he was just nursing, it was the same. 6 AM: THE BABY WON'T NURSE! Panic mode sets in. He won't eat. He HAS to eat! The pump isn't ready to go. I have to wash pump parts. Hurry. Hurry. Hurrrrrrrry! Maybe the baby could sense my anxiety and wanted nothing to do with me. Thank God for electric pumps. I turned that sucker on high and we were driving downtown in no time.

Don't ask me how, but I found my friend and her husband among the crowd of thousands almost immediately after my husband dropped me off and gave me a good luck kiss. The race started and we were off! Within the first minute or so, I told my friends to just go on and enjoy the race. I was determined to set a good pace for myself from the start and I could tell I was going to be slower than them. We said goodbye and good luck. I put in my earbuds and started a podcast from The Parent Experiment. During training, I found that I ran longer distances better when listening to something I could engage in rather than listening to music. Try it sometime!

Miles 1, 2, 3 and 4 went by and when I saw mile markers for 5 and 6, I felt so happy. I was a little nervous about approaching mile markers 7 and 8 because I knew that would be the farthest I had run up to that point. At about 7.5 miles, I noticed a giant pink sign that said "Go Bri!" It was my mom, dad and sisters! They took pictures of me as I ran (Oh, those are beautiful...) and gave me high-fives as I passed by them. Both of my sisters had run half marathons before me, so it was encouraging to me to have them there cheering me on. My dad jumped onto the road and ran with me for about a half mile. He told me that my husband and baby boy were down the road a bit more. I was so excited! I finally spotted them and stopped to take a picture with my baby at mile 8. I felt determined and strong. My family being there to support me meant the world to me. I swallowed the raspberry energy goo after leaving my family and wow, that sat like a rock in my stomach. The feeling went away fast and I was going on miles 9, 10 and 11.

The end was near. I could taste it. I rounded a corner and in front of me was the most giant hill I have ever seen. It may have looked bigger that day than it would to me now. My knees were starting to burn, my tank top was sweaty and my two sports bras (nursing mom, remember) were starting to feel tight and misplaced. I started into a walk-run thing going up the hill and then all of the sudden, mile marker 13 appeared. I could hear the man's voice over the speakers announcing people's names as they crossed the finish line. Right then, I decided to run, not limp or jog, but run across the finish line. Right before I crossed, I heard someone call out my name. It was my friend and her husband! They had finished 15 minutes ahead of me and were waiting to see me cross. I think I managed to do my best wave while doing an all out sprint.

"Brianna from St. Paul... congratulations on finishing" the announcer man said.

I did it!!! I did it!!!! I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I saw my family waiting for me and a woman put a finisher's medal around my neck. That woman had no idea how much that medal meant to me. My family hugged me and congratulated me. I kissed my baby snoozing in his stroller. I ate orange slices and a sugar cookie.

I didn't do this race for anyone else, but myself. I finished a stronger, happier, more confident wife, mother, and employee (working out = more energy = higher productivity, right?!). But most of all, I found myself again. It was truly an amazing day. That afternoon, I told my family I wanted to run another half because I had such a fun time and gained so much from the experience.

I did it!