I woke up on Sunday at 5:15 AM. It's the first time I set my alarm clock in months and months and months. I checked about 4 times to make sure I set it correctly. We have the early rising son, remember? When my alarm went off (what an awful sound), I didn't even remember how to turn it off. That's how rarely we have to use our alarm clocks. But I really needed my alarm to work on Sunday because race start was at 7 AM. One of my pet peeves is being late. I hate being late. To anything. It bothers me. Being late for my half marathon was not an option. We planned to leave the house at 6:15 and because we left at 6:17, my stomach started to ache. Will we get there on time? Will I have time to line up in the back of the pack with the rest of my fellow slow and steady runners? What if I have to use the bathroom? If I'm late, I won't have time to go! I can't run if I have to go!
My husband sensed my anxiety. He must have seen me glancing between the car's clock and looking out the window. And again. And again. Back and forth. Finally, he calmly said from the driver's seat, "Don't worry. We'll get you there in plenty of time." He patted my knee. I relaxed.
We arrived downtown Minneapolis ON TIME and I jumped out of the car at an intersection 1.5 blocks from the race start. My baby boy was in the back seat and gave me a look that said, "Wait... where are you going? She's leaving us!" The adorable little guy was still in his jammies. How cute are toddler boys in their truck jammies?! I walked fairly confidently to the start. There were crowds of people everywhere. Music was blasting. The sun was shining down on us, but it wasn't too warm yet. Runners of all shapes and ages lined up according to their pace. I chose the 11-minute mile pacer. I am willing to admit that I run slowly. I got lined up and had about 5 minutes to wait. I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't put in my headphones so I could take in all the excitement. I just stood there looking around thinking about what I had to get done and why I was doing it. Deep breath in.... Out.... And then we were off!
I wore nearly the same outfit I wore last year. Black and pink tempo shorts, my new half marathon-sponsored white running hat and the black cotton tank from GapBody that is so old I can't even remember when I bought it. But that's my running outfit. At one mile in, I already sensed the temperature rising. I wondered if I'd regret wearing black shorts and shirt.
The first few miles seemed pretty easy. The course was slightly different than last year's. We crossed the Mississippi River three times on three different bridges, and on one of them, I could feel mist from the river. At mile 4, I had to stop and use the bathroom. Maybe I drank too much water before the race. I got in line and waited a solid 10 minutes for my turn. I nearly left the line because I got frustrated with how many people I saw run by while I stood there. The pacer I was following so well was long gone. I was convinced that I'd for sure come in last place after this stop. Finally, it was my turn. I opened the door and felt disgusted with what I saw in the port-a-potty, but I went in anyway. Thank goodness the hand sanitizer hadn't run out. After that stop, I felt the urge to catch up to the pacer, but in doing so, I got an awful side cramp and I think I blew a lot of energy just trying to get a good time. I'm not even sure what good is for me, so it was probably a silly idea. I'm also not sure why I cared about my time when I decided going into this race that I wouldn't be concerned about time.
I ran miles 5 and 6 trying to catch the pacer, but stopped at every PowerAde and water station along the way to hydrate. The sun continued to heat up the air and there were no shaded areas for a good distance. I felt very warm.
Can you sense the mental battle I am starting to face?
I turned the corner and came down a huge hill. It's the same hill that I would finish the race on because the course loops and mile 12 is completely uphill. At least this year I wasn't surprised by the big hill like I was last year :) Just before mile 7, I stopped to walk for a little bit. I felt discouraged and disappointed in myself. I kept thinking about my race last year and how I remember telling my husband at mile 8 that I felt fantastic. My mind was fighting against me. My legs felt like heavy weights even though my lungs felt perfectly fine. My right foot didn't hurt at all. Not once during the race did I feel pain other than my legs feeling incredibly heavy. I prayed to get that light, flying feeling as I ran.
A few things kept me going:
1. I knew that I had to and more importantly, wanted, to finish the race because despite the battle I was enduring, I was doing the race for the moms in Haiti. Despite everything I was feeling at the time, I wanted to finish it to represent them.
2. I knew that straight ahead at mile 8, I would see the faces of my mom, dad, husband and baby boy.
3. I knew that probably a little bit past that, I'd see the faces of my sister-in-law and brother-in-law cheering me on.
4. The weather kept me going. I tried to remind myself that it is sunny and beautiful. An ideal day for running. It might be a little hotter than I'd like, but at least it isn't pouring rain and miserable.
At mile 8, I saw those faces I expected and my mom immediately said, "You look GREAT! How do you feel?" I replied, "Horrible!" I took a picture with my baby boy just like last year, took a swig of my mom's freshly brewed iced tea (okay, I took two huge swigs), and off I went. About half a mile past them, I saw my sister-in-law and brother-in-law waving their arms to get my attention. More faces!! They both had cameras pointed at me, which reminded me to always keep good form while running :) It was refreshing to see them. I took the raspberry energy goo at mile 9 with water this year. Last year, I sucked the whole packet down without water and the goo sat like a rock in my stomach. I made a promise to myself that I'd never take the goo without water again. The goo + water helped.
Miles 9 and 10 were just as difficult physically. I ran some, walked some. I tried the running for one song, walk for one song thing. Around 10.5 miles, I saw my sister-in-law and brother-in-law again since I had looped back for the finish. They cheered and cheered. At mile 11, I saw my mom, dad, husband and baby boy. I took more iced tea from my mom. Part of me didn't want to leave them, but they assured me they'd be at the finish. My husband yelled, "TWO MILES! You've GOT this!!!" I've got it. I can do it.
The mile 12 hill appeared. No breaks. Just one giant hill. I wasn't the only one walking part of the way up the hill. Just past mile 12, a girl came up behind me and we started a conversation. She was so kind and sweet. She had run long distance races before and agreed that this particular run was a difficult one for her too. In half a mile, we talked about our jobs, my baby, where we live, other races we've run, our thoughts on the race we were doing at that exact moment, the weather, and spoke with other people around us. I felt like we became friends in those few minutes, yet we never exchanged names. So, wherever you are runner girl, I couldn't have done it without you.
Runner girl and I approached the finish line. We could see the big FINISH banner ahead. With a little bit more giant hill to go up, a spectator started shouting, "KILL THE HILL!!! KILL THE HILL!!!" She was shouting and chanting. Runner girl and I looked at each other like "should we?!" with smiles on our faces. Where was that spectator miles ago?!
The runner girl and I so killed the hill. I gave her a "great job! keep it up!" and she returned the encouragement. When we got to the top of the hill, we both made a dash for the finish. I felt as though my legs were falling off. My headphones, which had been draped over my neck ever since Runner Girl and I started chatting, were flying behind me and getting tangled up in my arms. I crossed the finish line smiling. I nearly broke down into tears.
I finished it. Immediately after crossing the line, I looked up and made eye contact with my parents standing just feet from the finish line. My dad had his iPhone out snapping pictures of me. I felt such a rush of emotions. I felt that I pleased my parents. I felt that the young mothers in Haiti had a new representative for them. I felt that although I had so many hurdles during training, I still did it. It was a different kind of sense of accomplishment than last year though. Last year, I did it for me and only me. I had to prove to myself I could do it. This year, it was mighty difficult, but I made a promise to these moms and to Harbor House that I'd do it. You supported me and there was never a day I thought I wouldn't do this race. It was for them and for you. We raised 80% of the goal and I think that is fantastic. I've never met a single one of these Haitian mothers, yet I know they'd be so encouraged by your support.
Throughout the run, I prayed that these mothers and the Harbor House would be blessed by the money you've donated and that they would feel support, compassion, encouragement, and strength in the days ahead. Strength for the challenging days. And absolute joy in all the great days.
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| Mile 8 |
Thank you!
