Five

I meant to get out over the weekend for a long run, but a few too many fun things got in the way. That makes me sound like I have zero dedication to my running, but I made sure to get out on Monday evening. I was planning a 5 mile run after work. Not knowing this, my husband asked early in the day if I wanted to go on a family run after work. I told him I'd be running 5 and he and our little guy could join me if they so desired. He said that he'd do 3 with me, which is fine because 6'5" guys aren't your typical long distance runners. Is 5 miles even considered long distance? If you want to know my opinion, the answer is yes.

Summer already seems long gone and fall has definitely made an entrance. It's been cool and a bit rainy, but yesterday afternoon was just beautiful. I had to take the opportunity to run outdoors while I can (I do not run in the cold if I can help it). My boy was excited to go running as usual. As soon as we set out on a course near our house that I had mapped on MapMyRun.com, he knew we'd pass by the bulldozers working on building the next step up neighborhood. He was beside himself with excitement. I love that my boy is filled with so much joy. You can see it in every ounce of his body and being.

Mile 1: Great start. My husband and I are talking. We get to the bulldozers and our boy is in awe. The bulldozers are still out working and making all sorts of noises that two year olds adore. We slowed down a bit so that our boy could take it all in, but continued on our route.

Mile 2: Our boy is begging to go back and see the bulldozers. An almost two year old begging? Seems weird, right? Mmm hmmm. No. Not weird. He continues to beg the entire second mile. We ran up a giant hill and a semi truck and UPS truck passed us, which helped distract him for a while. At the top of the hill, I wanted so desperately bad to stop and catch my breath, but my husband told me to keep going. I did. It was really, really hard.

Mile 3: We were on a straight road. No elevation change. No curves. It was a long road. It never seemed to end. My husband and son started on their way back on a different path. And yes, this path would take them back to the bulldozers (where they happened to stay and watch them work for a good 15 minutes). Our boy's lucky day!

Mile 4: I was on my own. I stopped to walk for a minute and put my ear buds in. Pandora played some great Mumford & Sons-like music. I looped through a neighborhood near our house. A whole bunch of people were out walking their dogs and I nodded and smiled as I ran by them. One guy was out walking a Westie and I could've sworn it was Anthony Bourdain. Tall, slender, grayish hair, black jacket. Looked a bit like he might have an attitude. I passed him a second time and wondered if his camera crew was out hiding somewhere and I was going to be on his show! But then I remembered I was running and really didn't want to appear on TV in this sweaty state. My mind wanders as I run and sometimes this works in my favor. Unfortunately, after I realized I wasn't being taped for No Reservations, I noticed that I had a horrible side cramp. I walked for about 5 minutes to help it go away, which made me feel a little lazy, but it felt like a good decision at the time.

Taking a breather around mile 4.5

Mile 5: The majority of mile 5 was a series of little rolling hills. Up and down. Up and down. I ran this entire last mile and I think I ran it with a bit more pep in my stride than the fourth. I could sense that the end was near. I just had to get to the stop light up ahead and be done with it.

Annnnd, done. Whew. I walked about a quarter of a mile home. I caught my breath and enjoyed a few minutes of alone time. When I turned onto our street and walked up our driveway, my son, who was playing outside with my husband, shouted, "Bullsosers!!! I saw bullsosers, mommy!"  Joy.

Sleep Deprivation

I am sleep deprived. How did I ever make it with an infant and function at work on 3 or 4 hours of sleep on a consistent basis? Maybe I didn't function well. Let's not ask my boss.

My boy is sick. Cough. Snot. Sleepless nights. No appetite. Around 3 AM last night, my husband and I hear a sad whining sound coming from our boy's room. My husband goes to check on him. After some high-pitched screaming, my husband returns to our room, gets back under the covers and says, "He wants his mom." I feel delighted that my boy wants his mommy in the dead of night, but so frustrated that these sleepless nights are continuing. I go into his room and he screams, "Go away! Go away!" I didn't even know my boy knew those words. I got down closer to his head (well, as close as I could without actually getting into his crib) and quietly whispered, "It's mommy... are you ok? It's mommy." After a few moments, he opened his eyes noticing it was me standing there. He grabbed one of his blankies and nuzzled his head into my neck as if saying, "I'm ready to come sleep in your room now. Thanks." And, so he did. I'm a pushover. The kid is sick and I just wanted to sleep. Unfortunately, he sleeps sideways when he comes in our room and I generally get kicked in the head or ribs until sunrise. But my little boy wanted to be with me. I can handle the kicks. I think I can handle the sleep deprivation. I'm not sure I can handle leading a meeting in a few short hours at work. Can I just please stay home and sip on a pot of hot coffee in the morning? Please?

In order to unload all the crazy that has been going on in my world lately, I am planning to hit the trails this afternoon. I am going for a run by myself to clear my head and to continue training for a new race! A few weeks ago, I signed up for the TC 10K with a couple friends. The race is in 24 days and I'm really looking forward to it. First, I'm excited that it isn't 13.1 miles. Second, I'm excited it is more than a 5K. Basically, I'm excited that I have to train, but I don't have to kill myself training. This will be a good distance for me. I hadn't been doing much plain old running while soccer was in full swing this summer, so getting a race on the list of things to do this fall is a good thing.

My soccer season ended 2 weeks ago and I'm so proud to say that our team came in second! Go Club America! Playing with this team was certainly a highlight of my summer. I scored two goals, played a lot of center forward and played a lot of defense. I had horrendous shin splints during and after each game for days, but I didn't let it slow me down. Soccer ended up being a great (and healthy!) stress reliever for me in the midst of a very stressful time at work. I'm thankful to have such a fun team to play with and I love that we all enjoy playing together.

But the soccer season is over. I don't have that once a week 90-minute exercise time built into my schedule anymore. The TC 10K comes at a great time. The race is about a month after soccer ended, which doesn't allow me to stop running. I can't stop running. No matter how sleep deprived I am. Gotta keep going. My body is telling me "noooo..." but I know my mind could benefit from sweating a bit.

More to come on the training!

Physical Limits

Last week I was reminded that the human body has limits. When I run or workout in general, I don't always feel like I've worked hard enough if I'm not in some kind of pain, my lungs aren't burning, or the sweat from my head isn't dripping into my eyes. I want to end a workout knowing I pushed myself to the limit in order to make it worth my time. Working out is time away from my family, so I'm doing my best to make that time worthwhile.

Our run around the lake last week went well and I felt like I put everything into it. My husband pushed the 31-pound weight in the jogging stroller and ran with me the first time around the lake. The path was so busy that we couldn't even run beside each other. He ran ahead of me and I was drafting behind him. It works in cycling... it has to work in running too, right? It was a difficult run mostly because of strong winds. I don't think I've run in peaceful weather yet this spring, so I'm hoping its not a sign that race day will be awful too.

My boys pulled over after one lap and let me keep going. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it around another 1.5 times because I truly felt exhausted after the first one. My body finally got in a groove and before I knew it, I was half way around. I was feeling more confident. That didn't last long though. A few minutes later, my knees started to burn. They were hollering at me to stop. Stopppp!! I didn't. I wanted to, but I didn't. I ran the entire second lap around the lake making it 6 miles total.

My knees just couldn't make it another half lap around the lake. So many thoughts went through my head and I tried not to feel like a failure. I'm not above walking when I need to for the half marathon and I know that adrenaline on race day will keep me going far longer than going out for a plain old training run. I finally justified stopping for two reasons. First, I don't want to injure myself before the race or burn out my knees. Second, two days after this run, I had my first soccer game and I wanted to feel good for the game.

Going into the first game, I had some crazy nerves. I was excited, but nervous at the same time. I hadn't played in two years and even though I've been running -- in a straight line with a nice, slow pace for months -- I knew the game would be painful. And oh was it painful. I started out the game playing left defense. The first run down the field, I nearly tripped over my own feet. Good save. Whew. Second run down the field wasn't as lucky. It felt like a whole minute went by as my arms and legs were flailing wildly going down the field and I tumbled and rolled right in front of my teammates on the sideline. Just pathetic.

After that, I recovered, but throughout the rest of the game, I was gasping for air and realized my sprints weren't as good as I'd hoped they'd be. Everything is harder the first time around. By the second half, everyone seemed warmed up and I'm happy to report that nobody puked (at least that I'm aware of). We tied 2-2.

I was so sore in the 24-48 hours after the game, but it was a good sore. My body hadn't made those kinds of movements in two years and I was so happy to be feeling sore all over the place. My back was even sore and I swear my hamstrings shortenend by about 3 inches. My body certainly reached its physical limits last week both with the 6 mile run and the soccer game. But both times I felt great afterwards. Well, I felt great once my knees stopped burning and once the game was over and my sister-in-law and I chatted in the car for 45 minutes about how fun it was to be playing again.

I'm still working on pushing it to the limit every time I'm running, playing soccer, or doing some other kind of workout. Pushing it means its going to be painful and maybe not always very enjoyable, but in the end, that's what gets results and gets me in better physical shape. It burns the stress right out of my system and allows my mind to go somewhere else for an hour that doesn't involve toddler frustrations or work demands. I don't always enjoy it while I'm doing it, but I know its worth it in many ways.

Mothers

I'm one day behind, but happy Mother's Day to all you mothers and soon-to-be mothers out there! What a special day to celebrate being a mom. I spent a good portion of the day yesterday trying to teach my little guy how to say "I love mommy!" I think he caught on slightly because he said, "I... yuv.... Mommy!!!" Even if I told him to say it, it still melts my heart. I love that kid to pieces.

The countdown to race day continues. Four weeks to go! There was not one possible moment to squeeze running in this weekend, so its gonna happen tonight. It is. It has to. The rain must hold off!!

My goal: 7 miles

Seven miles was the longest run I did before the half last year and I'm hoping to get farther along this time around. My goal was 10, but we'll see about that. My husband and son are going to join me tonight for part of the run. We're headed out to a nice lake not too far from our house. It'll take 2.5 times around it to get to 7 miles, but I think I can do it. Hopefully I won't get dizzy :)

I'm looking forward to this run tonight. After a very busy, but very fun weekend, I'm in need of some hard work and sweat action. As I rocked my son at bedtime last night, I leaned down to give him a kiss and thanked him for making me a mommy. I couldn't be happier. If I didn't have him, I'd be getting so much more sleep and my house would be much cleaner, but none of that matteres when I see his cute face. I am so incredibly thankful for him. I'm thankful for my mom. She's the most hospitable person I know and rarely passes up an opportunity to hang out with me. She makes every moment special. Even a simple family dinner thrown together last minute somehow has candles and a little something from Lund's for dessert. I'm thankful for my mother-in-law. I truly am. She has a golden heart, is an amazing cook and begins all her emails to me with "Hi Dear." She raised quite the son, too. I'm thankful for both my grandmothers. Both of them are living and I've been fortunate enough to live relatively close to them my entire life. They both established traditions and values that have carried over into our own lives as my husband and I raise our son. Both of my grandmothers call my husband their grandson even though he has zero blood relation to them. They love him as if he was born right into their family. What an amazing gift I've been given.

The Harbor House

I started this I Run For blog because I felt like I had so many reasons to get my body moving. As a mom, I need to run to feel healthy and to get a little me time once in a while. As a mom and full-time employee for a global company, I need to run to just rid myself of daily stress. Last year, I ran my first half marathon and I did it for myself. I felt amazing when I finished, had a new sense of confidence and knew I would run that race again. I'm doing the Minneapolis Team Ortho Half Marathon again this June. However, this time I'm not doing it for myself.

I run for The Harbor House.

There are some amazing people I know who moved their family to Haiti roughly 5 years ago and are part of a team of people who run The Harbor House. This house is a safe home for teen moms and their young children. A place of refuge.

I had the idea to run for these young mothers months ago, but never acted on the nudge I felt. I was scared. Nervous. I felt like I am just one person and how can I possibly make a difference for these young girls and their babies. They have been through so much in their short lifetime and now as new moms will experience so much more. They will have joyful experiences and challenging ones, too. I was a new mom just a short while ago and felt those challenges myself. I ran the race last year to regain my strength and to prove to myself I could be a great mom. The nudge I felt would not go away and it was one Sunday morning while sitting in church that I decided I needed to run that race. It was on my heart and would not go away. I am running this race again, but this time to raise money for The Harbor House in hopes that these moms will too find strength, confidence and the insane amount of love for their child that I have found for mine.

My goal is to raise $712 by race day. This amount covers one week at The Harbor House. Please click on the Chip In event on the top of my blog if you're interested in helping me raise money for this home.

From the Livesay's blog:
"The house is in the process of being upgraded and changed each week and is therefore still very much under construction. We've been having fun painting and planning. Soon another carpenter is coming to build beds with drawers for each young woman and her child. The work is on-going and we're laboring to make the house feel like a home. We'll share photos of the house itself as things continue to change.

Each day there are planned activities (school, chores, classwork, group Bible study) and each month there are days the girls are able to leave to go visit family. Saturday and Sunday are visitation days when the girls' families can come to the Harbor House. Weekends are much less structured. The girls will soon begin taking a jewelry making class and in April we'll begin a trauma support group with them.

The most important thing happening at Harbor House is the daily modeling of respect, conflict resolution, child-rearing, and problem solving. The day in and day out real-life examples being shared by those of us that are living here in community with them far exceeds the importance of reading, writing, or arithmetic.

It is our hope and our belief that investing in these young mothers is investing in the future. Ten young moms raise ten secure, well-loved, well-attached children who go on to raise their own well-loved, well-attached and secure children ... "

I have run for myself. Now I run for all of the other new moms in Haiti.

Work + Play + Sleep... oh and then run!

Fridays come and I think "ahhhhh the weekend is finally here!" Sigh of relief. But then I remember that all week long while my husband I were working at our day jobs, the rest of our life goes on the backburner. It is really challenging to be a mom and work full-time. As much as I hated my job the weeks following my return from maternity leave, I've come to appreciate the adult interaction and love the education our son is receiving at his daycare center.

I hated my job after returning to work for a few reasons. First, 2 weeks before I actually gave birth (I worked up until the night I went into labor... I'm so sorry to all my co-workers who had to look at my extremely swollen face those last couple weeks... uff dah), my department announced a major reorganization. I was so disappointed when I found out that everything about my job as I knew it would change. I was feeling confident in my role on my team and a shake-up was not what a 38 week swollen-faced pregnant lady wanted. So, the next day, my new boss held a meeting to do introductions. Mine went a little something like this:

Hello, I'm Brianna. I'm having a baby in two weeks... hopefully sooner... and I've never done this type of work before.

I think I came across less than pleasant. Fortunately, I wasn't the only pregnant person on the team, so I had sympathy coming from the other girl at least. My first week back to work after maternity leave was a little rocky. I returned to a new director, a new manager, a new team where I only knew one person (the other pregnant girl actually and she was still on maternity leave for another couple weeks after me! How dare she!), and I also knew absolutely nothing about the type of work I'd be doing. I had just dropped my son off at daycare for the first time and this shake-up is what I had to return to. I hated it.

It has been a little over a year since that first day back. I have a much different attitude towards my job now. Working outside the home gives me an opportunity to continue challenging myself professionally, but it also allows my son to have a wonderful learning experience at daycare. He started at 13 weeks old dressed in little button-up jammies and drank many, many ounces of pumped breast milk throughout the day. Now at 16 months, he has group time, eats lunch with the other kids at a table, sleeps on a cot, eats with a spoon, dances, reorganizes the furniture, waves goodbye to his friends when we pick him up in the afternoon and makes us the cutest little gifts for all holidays. I love it. He's 16 months old and he has a room full of little friends. Adorable.

The challenge comes when we work all day, eat dinner, play for an hour, and then put the little guy to bed for the night. He plays so hard all day that he crashes at 7. He'll spin in circles for 15 minutes laughing his head off and then WAHHHH...... cranky. Time for bed. Lights out until 5 AM. There is no time for anything else. None. Work. Play. Sleep. Repeat. Five times. Friday... ahhhhh, sigh of relief. But not really.

Weekend: laundry laundry laundry, sweep, vacuum, dishes, grocery shop, see family, see friends, reconnect with my husband, get a haircut, get the oil changed, RUN.

It is ridiculously hard for me to find time to workout. I only have one kid. It should be easy, right? I know people who have 7 kids who find time to run. Get it together and just go do it. Your life isn't that insane. That's what I have to tell myself. But it feels insane sometimes.

I had the chance to go run tonight. It's Sunday night at 6:45 PM. Our evening opened up last minute and I asked my husband if he'd put the little guy to bed so I could go to the gym. He always says yes. I changed into my new knee-length running pants and a t-shirt (the same red t-shirt from that 4 mile run). On the 10 minute drive over the gym through the snow, I went back and forth between wanting to do another longer run or do a fast run and get the whole thing overwith. I still had to grocery shop after the gym. It wasn't until I got on the treadmill until I decided to do a fast 2 mile run.

This run kind of sucked. I'm not going to lie. I don't think I was totally mentally prepared for it and I had left my iPod at home. All I had was my phone, so I listened to some random Pandora station that didn't really do it for me. My feet kind of hurt and so did my calves. My lungs felt like they were working pretty hard, but not because I was really pushing myself. They were screaming to have me quit. I got to 1.55 miles and I turned the speed up to 6.5, which I will remind you is fast for me. Not an all-out sprint, but pretty fast. I ran for a minute and thought "holy crap, I'm going to die... I want to stop." I didn't. Thirty more seconds. I did it. Thirty more seconds. Done. Fifteen seconds. 1.85 miles. Seriously? Already? Nice. Okay, 30 more seconds. Whew... dripping sweat here. I hope the lady behind me is gone now because I probably look really awkward right about now. 1.95 miles. I'm so going to get to 2 miles. I'm. Almost. There. YES! 2 miles! Cooldown.

My run completely turned around. I was just not into the run at first, but finishing strong totally made my night. I left and headed over to Cub to grocery shop at 8 PM. I felt good... hungry, but good. I needed that time to just decompress from the busy weekend. Sure, I was doing my weekend chore (I secretly like grocery shopping. I just wish I could go not on the weekend or in the evening when so many others are there too.), but the run and being out alone kind of helps prep me for the week. I have my meals planned out and have enough pineapple to keep my son happy all week. Favorite food of all time.

Random post. I fit the run in this weekend among everything else on the to-do list. I needed it. And it felt great.

Half Marathon 2010

The run that brought sanity back to my life.

Aside from giving birth and adjusting to life as a new mother, training for the half marathon may have been the next most difficult thing I have done. It was about 3 months after I gave birth to my son and I felt like I was never going to get back in shape. I felt chubby and drained. Between multiple middle of the night feedings, returning to a full-time job after 12 weeks of maternity leave and trying to figure out how continuing my wife role fit in to this new life, I had no energy left to take care of my physical self. In those first couple months post-baby, I struggled to ever feel rested, rarely laughed at my husband's jokes and stressed myself out so much the first week back to work that I made myself vomit in a second floor bathroom. Life with a newborn.

Something had to change, so I started talking to a friend of mine who I thought would probably run a race with me since we had run one together in the past. I didn't want to run a 5K. It had to be something very, very challenging for myself. The half marathon. My friend was game almost immediately! The night came when we both agreed to sign up for the Minneapolis Half Marathon. We texted back and forth.

Me: Did you sign up yet?
Her: No, did you? I'm SO nervous.
Me: No, but I'm SO nervous too!
Her: Okay, I'm going to sign up right now. You better do it too!
Me: Okay, I'm going to sign up. Text me when you're done.
Her: Just signed up... WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?!
Me: I don't know!!!! I'm freaking out!
Her: Bri, we can do this! We are so going to do this.
Me: We totally are! Okay, now I'm excited!
Her: Me too!

No joke. That's about how the text conversation went. We signed up and had roughly 4 months to train. The next week, I ran on the treadmill at the gym. I think I ran 1.5 miles. It was my second or third time running since having the baby and my doctor warned me about working out too much and not letting my body adjust slowly. My doctor was right and I injured my knee. Too much too soon. I was so disappointed that running 1.5 miles caused an injury. I'd rather run through an injury than lay on the couch recuperating, but I could barely walk up and down the stairs without being in pain, so it was necessary for me to take time off. Three weeks later, my knee finally felt normal again. I did a couple 1 mile runs for a week just to get the feel of it. No pain!

My friend and I tried for weeks to get together for training runs. We had a couple scheduled and something always came up. We never did one run together in preparation for this race. She ended up training with her husband and he signed up for the race himself, which I thought was a fantastic idea. If he's going to put the miles in, he might as well run the actual race! She would email me reports about their runs, what their times were and how she felt. I learned from her emails that they would be running a faster pace than me and as the race approached, we decided that on race day they would run at their pace and I would run mine. Sure, we signed up together, but finishing the race was both of our goals... however we got there.

Not only was it impossible to find time to run with my friend, but it was nearly impossible for me to find time to run all by myself. Being a working, nursing mom only allowed for short windows of time where I could sneak in a run. My baby was still nursing every 3-4 hours during this time and I had to nurse him (or pump... gahh... the pump) right before every run, be back, stretch, and shower up before it was time to nurse again. And then find something to eat before bed. I found it difficult and mentally challenging to add another activity into my day, but I knew I had to do it. Every time I came back from a run, I felt amazing. I could feel my body getting stronger. My stomach chub was diminishing. My knees felt solid.

I also felt amazing because it was time I needed to just be me. All day long, I played the role of mom, wife and employee. I didn't have a chance to just be me and be alone. I didn't have time in the day to listen to my own thoughts or to just not think at all. Nobody talked to me, nobody spit up on me, nobody emailed me. It was just me. A lot of new moms, and probably experienced moms, must feel this way too. There was so much on my plate, so many expectations and it was increasily stressful to juggle it all.

Most of my training runs took place along the Mississippi River in St. Paul in the spring and eventually the start of summer. The path curves and bends in all the right places. There are little hills here and there and there are houses that line the boulevard that I can only dream about living in someday. It was a great path to have my me time on. Usually, because of my son's nursing schedule, I ran right after work around 6 PM. My favorite time of day. You know how the sun turns orange as its coming down and makes everything look richer? Perfect. Running was my escape. Whether it was 1 mile or 7 miles.

As it turns out, 7 miles was the longest run I did in preparing for the race. Rookie mistake, right? For a few days before the race, I couldn't get it out of my head that 7 wasn't enough and that I wouldn't be able to finish the race. All along, my goal was to just finish. If I had to walk, I would walk, but I was going to finish that race. I kept telling myself that and the nerves subsided.

Race morning: My alarm went off at 5 AM. I got dressed in my favorite running gear, struggled to put down a small amount of oatmeal and then very much struggled to eat a banana. After a brief stomach ache, it was time to nurse the baby, get in the car and go downtown. Our son is an eater. He never refuses food and back when he was just nursing, it was the same. 6 AM: THE BABY WON'T NURSE! Panic mode sets in. He won't eat. He HAS to eat! The pump isn't ready to go. I have to wash pump parts. Hurry. Hurry. Hurrrrrrrry! Maybe the baby could sense my anxiety and wanted nothing to do with me. Thank God for electric pumps. I turned that sucker on high and we were driving downtown in no time.

Don't ask me how, but I found my friend and her husband among the crowd of thousands almost immediately after my husband dropped me off and gave me a good luck kiss. The race started and we were off! Within the first minute or so, I told my friends to just go on and enjoy the race. I was determined to set a good pace for myself from the start and I could tell I was going to be slower than them. We said goodbye and good luck. I put in my earbuds and started a podcast from The Parent Experiment. During training, I found that I ran longer distances better when listening to something I could engage in rather than listening to music. Try it sometime!

Miles 1, 2, 3 and 4 went by and when I saw mile markers for 5 and 6, I felt so happy. I was a little nervous about approaching mile markers 7 and 8 because I knew that would be the farthest I had run up to that point. At about 7.5 miles, I noticed a giant pink sign that said "Go Bri!" It was my mom, dad and sisters! They took pictures of me as I ran (Oh, those are beautiful...) and gave me high-fives as I passed by them. Both of my sisters had run half marathons before me, so it was encouraging to me to have them there cheering me on. My dad jumped onto the road and ran with me for about a half mile. He told me that my husband and baby boy were down the road a bit more. I was so excited! I finally spotted them and stopped to take a picture with my baby at mile 8. I felt determined and strong. My family being there to support me meant the world to me. I swallowed the raspberry energy goo after leaving my family and wow, that sat like a rock in my stomach. The feeling went away fast and I was going on miles 9, 10 and 11.

The end was near. I could taste it. I rounded a corner and in front of me was the most giant hill I have ever seen. It may have looked bigger that day than it would to me now. My knees were starting to burn, my tank top was sweaty and my two sports bras (nursing mom, remember) were starting to feel tight and misplaced. I started into a walk-run thing going up the hill and then all of the sudden, mile marker 13 appeared. I could hear the man's voice over the speakers announcing people's names as they crossed the finish line. Right then, I decided to run, not limp or jog, but run across the finish line. Right before I crossed, I heard someone call out my name. It was my friend and her husband! They had finished 15 minutes ahead of me and were waiting to see me cross. I think I managed to do my best wave while doing an all out sprint.

"Brianna from St. Paul... congratulations on finishing" the announcer man said.

I did it!!! I did it!!!! I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I saw my family waiting for me and a woman put a finisher's medal around my neck. That woman had no idea how much that medal meant to me. My family hugged me and congratulated me. I kissed my baby snoozing in his stroller. I ate orange slices and a sugar cookie.

I didn't do this race for anyone else, but myself. I finished a stronger, happier, more confident wife, mother, and employee (working out = more energy = higher productivity, right?!). But most of all, I found myself again. It was truly an amazing day. That afternoon, I told my family I wanted to run another half because I had such a fun time and gained so much from the experience.

I did it!